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Three Valid Divorces

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

I am writing this in great pain and sorrow. I had

committed adultery 3 years back. My wife found out

about this and we had an argument. During the argument

I pronuced from my mouth “I divorce you” thrice

together in one sitting. My wife was NOT menstruating

at that time. I was not angry whe nI pronounced

dovprce. After that I repented my sin of adultery and

did taubah and istighfaar never to go towards it

again. After a month me and my wife had intimacy and

we accepted each other.

I found a job in antoher city after a couple of months

and after that we used to see each other on weekend.

We did have sex a few times. Now we live together in

Dubai but things have changed. She says that she is in

doubt about the marriage and maybe divorce has taken

place. Since a year or two we never had any sexual

relationship. We are living in same house. She says

even if a mufti tells her that divorce has not taken

place, she will not have any sexual relations with me

for life because she remembers that I had cheated on

her.

My argument is that I am 42 now and have strong sexual

urges naturally. I want to have a good peaceful life,

with a wife who enjoys moments of intimace, who talks

to you, and also wants to have more children and lead

a normal life.

My wife is also in friendship with another man who

talks to her till 3.00 a.m in the morning over the

phone. When i asked her to leave him, she said that it

is not possible and she refrains from doing so. She

says that they don’t talk anything about love or any

such thing. I said I believe you but even then I don’t

feel comfortable that you talk to this man or have any

relations with him.

I told my wife to get a legal divorce from court

because I cannot lead such a life. My wife says that

she is living with me just to give each other

financial support and take care of our son. She says

that sacrifce the sexual urges its not an important

part of married life. I argue that I feel urges and

cannot control myself and this is the prime

requirement of marriage. Then she starts cursing me in

the name of Alah SWT and abuses me verbally. I am

tired of all this.

Mufti saheb, kindly guide us to the right path in the

light of Quran and Sunnah.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullahi wa-barakatuh.

In principle, issuing three divorces constitutes a Talaaq-e–Mughalladhah (a permanently irrevocable divorce). Hence, a Talaaq-e–Mughalladhah (a permanent irrevocable divorce) was issued the moment you verbally uttered the words of Talaaq three times. Therefore, the marriage is no longer valid and you can no more stay together.

The consequence of such a divorce is that the issuer of divorce may not remarry his wife until she is married to another man, the marriage is consummated, the second husband divorces her or passes away and she completes her Iddah from the second marriage.[1]

The Iddah of divorce is three menstrual cycles (if one experiences menses) or three months (if one does not experience menses) or till birth if she is conceived.

If your ex-wife experienced menses and three cycles passed by since then, then the Iddah is over. It is Haraam for both of you to be together. Both of you should separate from each other.[2]

If you have an urge for intimacy, you should get married and lead a lawful intimate life. The same will apply to your ex-wife.

And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Ismaeel Bassa

Student Darul Iftaa

Durban South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net


[1]   

1} وَإِنْ كَانَ الطَّلَاقُ ثَلَاثًا فِي الْحُرَّةِ وَثِنْتَيْنِ فِي الْأَمَةِ لَمْ تَحِلَّ لَهُ حَتَّى تَنْكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَهُ نِكَاحًا صَحِيحًا وَيَدْخُلَ بِهَا ثُمَّ يُطَلِّقَهَا أَوْ يَمُوتَ عَنْهَا كَذَا فِي الْهِدَايَةِ [الفتاوى الهندية (1/ 473)، رشيدية]

2} وَإِنْ كَانَ الطَّلَاقُ ثَلَاثًا فِي الْحُرَّةِ وَثِنْتَيْنِ فِي الْأَمَةِ لَمْ تَحِلَّ لَهُ حَتَّى تَنْكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَهُ نِكَاحًا صَحِيحًا وَيَدْخُلَ بِهَا ثُمَّ يُطَلِّقَهَا أَوْ يَمُوتَ عَنْهَا كَذَا فِي الْهِدَايَةِ

(وَلَا تَحِلُّ الْحُرَّةُ بَعْدَ) الطَّلْقَاتِ (الثَّلَاثِ) لِمُطَلِّقِهَا لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى {فَإِنْ طَلَّقَهَا فَلا تَحِلُّ لَهُ مِنْ بَعْدُ} [البقرة: 230] الْآيَةَ (وَلَا الْأَمَةُ بَعْدَ الثِّنْتَيْنِ) لِمَا تَقَرَّرَ أَنَّ الرِّقَّ مُنَصَّفٌ وَالطَّلْقَةَ لَا تَتَجَزَّأُ (إلَّا بَعْدَ وَطْءِ زَوْجٍ آخَرَ) سَوَاءٌ كَانَ حُرًّا أَوْ عَبْدًا زُوِّجَ بِإِذْنِ الْمَوْلَى عَاقِلًا أَوْ مَجْنُونًا إذَا كَانَ يُجَامِعُ مِثْلَهُ مُسْلِمًا أَوْ ذِمِّيًّا فِي الذِّمِّيَّةِ حَتَّى يَحِلَّهَا لِزَوْجِهَا الْمُسْلِمِ (بِنِكَاحٍ صَحِيحٍ( فَيَخْرُجُ الْفَاسِدُ وَنِكَاحُ غَيْرِ الْكُفُؤِ إذَا كَانَ لَهَا وَلِيٌّ عَلَى مَا عَلَيْهِ الْفَتْوَى وَالنِّكَاحُ الْمَوْقُوفُ ) مجمع الأنهر، ج 2، ص 88، دار الكتب العلمية(

3} فتاوى محمودية (13/473)، فاروقية

[2]   

 1} وإبتداء العدة في الطلاق عقيب الطلاق وفي الوفاة عقيب الوفاة فإن لم تعلم بالطلاق أو الوفاة حتى مضت مدة العدة فقد انقضت عدتها ” لأن سبب وجوب العدة الطلاق أو الوفاة فيعتبر ابتداؤها من وقت وجود السبب ومشايخنا رحمهم الله يفتون في الطلاق أن ابتداءها من وقت الإقرار نفيا لتهمة المواضعة ” الهداية في شرح بداية المبتدي (2/ 431) [طكتبة رحمانية]

2} فَفِي الصَّحِيحِ يُعْتَبَرُ ابْتِدَاءُ الْعِدَّةِ مِنْ وَقْتِ الْفُرْقَةِ بِالطَّلَاقِ فَكَذَا فِي الْفَاسِدِ يُعْتَبَرُ ابْتِدَاؤُهَا مِنْ وَقْتِ الْفُرْقَةِ بِالْمُتَارَكَةِ اهـ. حاشية الشلبي على تبيين الحقائق شرح كنز الدقائق وحاشية الشلبي (2/ 153) [مكتبة إمدادية]

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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