Am I cursed by my mother?

Assalamualaikum. I want to discuss an issue regarding my mother whom I love very much and will continue to love.  Many years ago while I was about 11 or 12 years of age, my mother got angry at me due to my misbehavior such as disturbing my elder sister.  I remember my mother telling me while she was angry that she would never love me to the extent that she loves her other children.  She further emphasized that if I thought my mother loves me due to me being the youngest child, I was far from reality.  This was said to me in front of my siblings that left me with an everlasting pain. 

Furthermore, I continue to question myself if my mother deserves all the love that I show her.  I love her very much and cannot possibly hate her.  Especially since we are very far away and live thousands of miles away from each other. 

I try my utmost to be a good Muslim and I even had an opportunity to dream of Nabī Sallallāhu Alaihi Wa Sallam.  I am now twenty three years of age, and not married as of yet. 

I don’t understand why my mother would utter such words against me while I didn’t do anything serious, when she lost her temper.  She further said to me that her marriage ended when I came into her life as my father divorced her four months before I was born. 

I want to know if my mother cursed me because situations are very difficult for me even though I work hard and pray continuously to Allāh. Please advise me and pray for me.  I don’t what to make of this.  It always feels like yesterday when I think about this.  Thank you in advance.

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Allāh Taālā is All Merciful, All Loving, and All Forgiving.   The falling of rain, the gentle breezes of the wind, the heat from the sun, and the alternation of day and night are all various forms of Allāh’s blessings.  Despite the continuation of vices and evils on earth, Almighty Allāh continues to sustain every creature.  And whenever any individual turns to Allāh with a remorseful heart, he/she is enveloped by the forgiveness of Almighty Allāh.

With regards to your situation, whatever has occurred in the past with your mother should be forgotten.  Life is full of experiences, some are positive while some are not so blissful.  Simply after seeking the forgiveness of Almighty Allāh, move on with life and never lose hope.  Almighty Allah says in the glorious Qurān:

“Say (on my behalf) “O my servants who have acted recklessly against their own selves, do not despair of Allāh’s mercy.  Surely Allāh will forgive all sins” (Qurān 39/53)

Experiencing difficulties in life is in no way a proof that your mother has cursed you.  Hardships are encountered because of various reasons.  In fact, those servants of Allāh who have lofty ranks in the sight of Allāh are sometimes faced with more difficulties.  Nabi Salallāhu Alaihi Wa Sallam has said: [1]

“The Messengers have the most difficult test………..Man is tested according to level of his Dīn” (Sunan At-Tirmidhī, Hadīth No. 2398: Shirkah Maktebah Wa Matba’ah Mustafā Al-Bābī Al-Halabī)

The reason for this is mentioned in the Hadīth itself.  Allāh Taālā does not want to leave his chosen servants with even one sin remaining.  However Shaitān tries to create various thoughts in man’s mind which leads him to depression and worry. [2] Thereafter man’s attention goes away from Allāh’s worship.  Therefore whenever any thought of your mother’s curse comes to mind, immediately seek refuge from shaitān and meditate on the love and mercy of Almighty Allāh.

Lastly we would like to congratulate you for the love you have for your mother.  No matter how you are treated by your mother, she deserves the greatest amount of respect.  Nabī Sallallāhu Alaihi Wa Sallam was once asked regarding the one who is most deserving of one’s good characters.  Nabī Sallallāhu Alaihi Wa Sallam uttered the word “your mother” thrice, then said “then your father”. [3]  Since you are living far from your mother, continue to contact her and request her duas.  Occasionally send her gifts.  And when you visit her, engage yourself in her Khidmah (service) as much as you can.  This will result in a life full of bliss and happiness and an everlasting abode in Jannah.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mawlana Abdul Azeem bin Abdur Rahman,
Student Darul Iftaa
US

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Husain Kadodia.
www.daruliftaa.net

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