i am a muslim woman. during early november 2009, i walked away from home with my kids after a misunderstanding with my husband. i have been away from him since then (which is above 3 months now). i have declared Khula last week and have been granted same by my husband and i have sorted my husband’s demands against this.
i would like to know if i am still supposed to go through eddat?? even if i have already passed my 3 menstrual cycles whilst being away from home (since november 2009).
and if i am supposed to go through eddat; then please advice what are the rules and regulations for this. how is this eddat supposed to be performed???? i am a working woman, am i allowed to work??? am i not allowed to wear nice clothes??? apply perfume??? Please advise how this eddat is supposed to be performed if at all i am still supposed to perform it.
In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
Your iddah commenced only after your husband accepted the Khula, not when you left the house.[1]
During iddah a woman cannot beautify herself in any way. Consider the following reference.
“A woman in her iddah should abstain from perfume, oil, antimony(surma), henna, hair dye ,and also from wearing perfumed and fancy clothes, red and saffron colored clothes and also from silk , jewelry, combing hair and beautifying herself. “
(Fatawa Alamgiri, Vol 1, Pg.533) .[2]
A woman in her iddah must remain at home throughout the entire period. However in the case of extreme necessity (for example, a woman does not have a means of income and need to support herself) then it will be permissible for her to leave the house during the day for the shortest possible time in which her needs can be fulfilled and thereafter return home.This is understood from the following reference.
“The criteria for a woman to leave the house for the sake of earning should be limited to her needs, as soon as the need is fulfilled, she is not allowed to spend time out of the house “
(Al bahr Al Raiq, Vol 4, Pg.153) .[3]
And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum
Ml. Abdur Rahman Shareef,
Student Dārul Iftā
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah
[2] على المبتوتة والمتوفى عنها زوجها إذا كانت بالغة مسلمة الحداد في عدتها كذا في الكافي والحداد الاجتناب عن الطيب والدهن والكحل والحناء والخضاب ولبس المطيب والمعصفر والثوب الأحمر وما صبغ بزعفران إلا إن كان غسيلا لا ينفض ولبس القصب والخز والحرير ولبس الحلي والتزين والامتشاط
(الفتاوى العالمكيرية،باب الحداد،رشيدية)
[3] قوله ( ومعتدة الموت تخرج يوما وبعض الليل ) لتكتسب لأجل قيام المعيشة لأنه لا نفقة لها حتى لو كان عندها كفايتها صارت كالمطلقة فلا يحل لها أن تخرج لزيارة ولا لغيرها ليلا ولا نهارا
والحاصل أن مدار الحل كون خروجها بسبب قيام شغل المعيشة فيتقدر بقدره فمتى انقضت حاجتها لا يحل لها بعد ذلك صرف الزمان خارج بيتها كذا في فتح القدير(البحر الرائق:4/ 153 ،باب العدة،رشيدية)