We recently married….what is the standing on shariah in respect of wife leaving husband to go for holidays by her parents home ?
what is the standing on shariah for wife to continously be spending the day by her mothers house against the wishes of her husband ?
also advise, if we have an argument, and this needs to be fixed or discussed for a conclusion, is it ok for the wife to continously be going to her parents home against husbands wishes and not sorting our problem and not caring to rectify these matters before leaving her new home in marriage ?
In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
The wife may leave the house in order to visit her parents once a week. More than this is not permissible without the permission of her husband (unless her parents need someone to take care of them, because they are disabled for example, and there is no one to do this except her – in which case she may go to her parents’ house everyday); otherwise, she will become ‘naashiza’ (disobedient; rebellious) and will not deserve nafaqa (expenses compulsory on the husband to support the wife) until she obeys her husband.
(Aap ke Masaail: 4/164; Maktaba Ludhyanawi)
(Fataawa Mahmoodiya 13/454; Maktaba Sheikhul Islam Deoband)
(Fataawa Qadi Khan 1/371, 383; al-Ilmiyyah)
(Fataawa Bazzaziya 1/138; al-Ilmiyyah)
(Fataawa Tatarkhaaniya 3/153; Ihyaa at-Turaath)
(Shaami: 4/287; 5/328; Darul Ma’rifa)
Ibn Abbas (radiyallaahu anhu) says that a woman from the tribe of Khuth’am came to the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam) and said, “O Rasulullah! Inform me of the right of the husband on the wife? I am a single woman. If I am able to (fulfil the rights of my husband then I will get married); otherwise I will remain single.” Rasulullah (sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “The right of the husband on the wife is that when he calls her, she should respond to him even if she is mounted on the back of a camel. From the rights of the husband on the wife is that she should not fast voluntarily without his permission. If she does so, she will be hungry and thirsty; however, her fasting will not be accepted (by Allah Ta’ala). She should not leave the house except with his permission. If she does do so, the angels in the sky, the angels of mercy and the angels of punishment will curse her until she returns.” (Majma’uz Zawaa’id 4/307)
وعن عباس أن امرأة من خثعم أتت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقالت يا رسول الله أخبرني ما حق الزوج عل الزوجة فانى امرأة أيم فان استطعت وإلا جلست أيما قال فان حق الزوج على زوجته أن سألها نفسها وهى على ظهر بعير أن لا تمنعه نفسها ومن حق الزوج على الزوجة أن لا تصوم تطوعا إلا باذنه فان فعلت جاعت وعطشت ولا يقبل منها ولا تخرج من بيتها إلا باذنه فان فعلت لعنتها ملائكة السماء وملائكة الرحمة وملائكة العذاب حتى ترجع ( مجمع الزوائد: ج4 ص 307 )
Arguments between the husband and wife should be sorted out in an amicable, responsible and mature manner. Running away to the parents’ house is not the answer. The husband should be particular about following the deen and should encourage his wife and family to do so too. Also, keep the following hadith in mind:
وعن عبد الرحمن بن عوف قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم خيركم خيركم لاهله وأنا خيركم لاهلي ( مجمع الزوائد: ج4 ص303 )
Abdur Rahman ibn Auf (radiyallaahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallaahu alihi wa sallam) said, “The best of you is the best (in terms of character and dealings) to his family. And I am the best to my family.” (Majma’uz Zawaa’id 4/303)
And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum
Ml. Faizal Riza
Correspondence Iftā Student, Australia
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah