My question is, I am married person and my wife she is in pakistan. I am now living in USA, she told me as i was leaving from pakistan that I should aslo pay charity for her behalf when i go to pray on friday. I want to know what does islam says about that. Should I aslo pay my wife’s charity combined with my as I go to friday prayers(Jummah)
My situation of marriage is that we have a valid nikkah but not ruksathi. I aslo want to ask you that when I told my mom that can I send money to my wife who is in pakistan, my mom said no you cant becasue your RUKSAKHTI IS NOT YET DONE AND YOUR WIFE DOES NOT HAVE KIDS, so this does not fit now.
On the other hand, my wife when ever i talk to her she requests me to send something like, cell phone, laptop, locket. etc… but i cant becasue my mom is telling me not to, not even money. I am in such difficult situation, who should I listen to my mom or my wife.
In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
- There is no specific charity that a person must give on Friday (Jumu‘ah). However, all those meeting the conditions of zakāt (mandatory charity) must give a certain amount of charity every year. Each mature individual is responsible for paying for his/her self and a husband is not obliged to pay on behalf of his wife. However, if a person has a set routine of giving charity every Friday for the sake of Allah, then this is a praiseworthy act for which he will definitely be rewarded. Furthermore, if a husband gives charity on behalf of his wife, this will also be an act of virtue but he is not required to do so. The following is a useful link explaining the conditions for giving zakāt:
http://www.al-inaam.com/library/czakaat.htm
- It is obligatory for a husband to provide for his wife. Allah the Exalted has commanded us in the Holy Qur’an:
أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنْتُمْ مِنْ وُجْدِكُمْ
“Give them residence where you reside in accordance with your means.” Sūrah al-Talāq: 6
Allāmah al-Kāsānī mentions this verse in his book Badā’i‘ al-Sanā’i‘ in order to establish the obligation of a husband to provide for his wife. He further mentions that there are two conditions which will necessitate the obligation of spending on one’s wife. One of those conditions is that the woman must consensually agree to physically be (takhliyah) with the husband if he desires her to do so. This is what you are referring to when you say “rukhsati”. Therefore, if she refuses to physically be with you (rukhsati), then you will not be obliged to provide for her. However, if she is willing to physically be with you (rukhsati) but you do not require her to do so, then you will still be obliged to provide for her even though a physical (rukhsati) has not taken place. Whether or not a married couple has any children has no bearing on the responsibility of a husband to provide for his wife (Badā’i‘ al-Sanā’i‘, v. 3, p. 422, Darul Kitab Deoband).
‘Allāmah Ibn ‘Ābidīn concurs with this stance, further elaborating that even if the wife is still in the home of her father, the husband is required to provide for her as long as he is not requiring her to physically be with him (Radd al-Muhtār, v. 3, p.575, Sa‘eed).
Therefore, if you were satisfied with your wife being elsewhere, preventing you from physically being with her (rukhsati), then you will still have to provide for her. If you had desired her to be with you but she refused, then you will not have to provide for her.
- Honoring and respecting one’s mother holds a very high place in our deen. However, in matters that are contrary to what we have been commanded to do by Allah the Exalted and His Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), then we are not to obey their instructions. With love and wisdom, attempt your very best to explain to your mother that you are obligated as a husband to provide for your wife even if rukhsati has not taken place and you have no children. Insha Allah, Allah will place it in her heart to understand that you are doing the right thing.
( قَوْلُهُ وَلَوْ هِيَ فِي بَيْتِ أَبِيهَا ) تَعْمِيمٌ لِقَوْلِهِ فَتَجِبُ لِلزَّوْجَةِ ، وَهَذَا ظَاهِرُ الرِّوَايَةِ ، فَتَجِبُ النَّفَقَةُ مِنْ حِينِ الْعَقْدِ الصَّحِيحِ وَإِنْ لَمْ تَنْتَقِلْ إلَى مَنْزِلِ الزَّوْجِ إذَا لَمْ يَطْلُبْهَا .
وَقَالَ بَعْضُ الْمُتَأَخِّرِينَ : لَا تَجِبُ مَا لَمْ تُزَفَّ إلَى مَنْزِلِهِ ، وَهُوَ رِوَايَةٌ عَنْ أَبِي يُوسُفَ وَاخْتَارَهُ الْقُدُورِيُّ وَلَيْسَ الْفَتْوَى عَلَيْهِ ، وَتَمَامُهُ فِي الْفَتْحِ ( قَوْلُهُ إذَا لَمْ يُطَالِبْهَا إلَخْ ) الْأَخْصَرُ وَالْأَظْهَرُ أَنْ يَقُولَ بِهِ يُفْتَى إذَا لَمْ تَمْتَنِعْ مِنْ النَّقْلَةِ بِغَيْرِ حَقٍّ (قَوْلُهُ لِقِيَامِ الِاحْتِبَاسِ ) فَإِنَّهُ يَسْتَأْنِسُ بِهَا وَيَمَسُّهَا وَتَحْفَظُ الْبَيْتَ ، وَالْمَانِعُ لِعَارِضٍ فَأَشْبَهَ الْحَيْضَ هِدَايَةٌ
–رد المحتار, ج:3, ص:575, سعيد
( فَصْلٌ ) : وَأَمَّا شَرْطُ وُجُوبِ هَذِهِ النَّفَقَةِ فَلِوُجُوبِهَا شَرْطَانِ : أَحَدُهُمَا يَعُمُّ النَّوْعَيْنِ جَمِيعًا أَعْنِي : نَفَقَةَ النِّكَاحِ وَنَفَقَةَ الْعِدَّةِ .
وَالثَّانِي يَخُصُّ أَحَدَهُمَا وَهُوَ نَفَقَةُ الْعِدَّةِ أَمَّا الْأَوَّلُ فَتَسْلِيمُ الْمَرْأَةِ نَفْسَهَا إلَى الزَّوْجِ وَقْتَ وُجُوبِ التَّسْلِيمِ وَنَعْنِي بِالتَّسْلِيمِ : التَّخْلِيَةَ وَهِيَ أَنْ تَخْلِي بَيْنَ نَفْسِهَا وَبَيْنَ زَوْجِهَا بِرَفْعِ الْمَانِعِ مِنْ وَطْئِهَا أَوْ الِاسْتِمْتَاعِ بِهَا حَقِيقَةً إذَا كَانَ الْمَانِعُ مِنْ قِبَلِهَا أَوْ مِنْ قِبَلِ غَيْرِ الزَّوْجِ فَإِنْ لَمْ يُوجَدْ التَّسْلِيمُ عَلَى هَذَا التَّفْسِيرِ وَقْتَ وُجُوبِ التَّسْلِيمِ ؛ فَلَا نَفَقَةَ لَهَا
–بدائع الصنائع, ج:3, ص: 422, دار الكتاب ديوبند
And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum
Ml. Musa Sugapong,
Student Dārul Iftā
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah