Assalamu a’laykum. Hope you are in a good health and iman.
First of all I want to mention that I was not a practicing muslimah before.I think I was the worst girl ever. Now I have repented. Alhamdulillah.Our family is not practicing islam in all way. here most of the family thinks that islam means only salat, zakat,sawm and hajj, but not a code of life.
I live in Bangladesh. I have read in co-education school. There I had an affair with my classmate. My parents didn’t know about that. One day they arranged my marriage ceremony with someone without my permission. I was 17 years old girl. When they insisted I went back to the boy with whom I had affair. I told him that my parents will not except our relation. And I want to cut the relationship with him. But that moment we were so emotional. I couldn’t come back at my home. We married without my parents permission.But his parents knew. Although our marriage contract was held on his house. I have two witness. They were from the boy’s side. I didn’t knew them before. They were my two witness according to islamic law.In Bangladeshi system a girl should have 18 and boy should have 21 years old for marriage contract but we were not in the age that time. So we have to write fake age.After that we told my parents. Then they accepted. My father made a condition. He didn’t accept me to live with my husband’s family. He told that we can lead our marriage life after finishing our graduation. Because the boy was not established,although he was a student.Now I am 22 and he is 24 almost. We have some sorts of physical relation,though we knew that we are married. But we didn’t have any intercourse. Our understanding was not good. Due to lots of difficulties we both want divorce now. But now our parents are not excepting it for social problems. I have read Quran and Hadith about divorce. I ask Allah’s help every time. Now in this situation I want to know how we can we divorce each other according to islamic law. Where I have to stay during Iddah period? Though I am living with my parents after the marriage. I am trying to apply islamic shariah in my life now.
May Allah bless you for your kind effort.
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
At the outset you should understand, when your parents intended to get you married to whom they thought was more suitable for you, out of your own choice you secretly got married to whom you regarded as your perfect match. Your parents have been very tolerant in accepting the fact that you have already got married without their knowledge. As a young girl, it is better to take the advice of the seniors who have more experience in life.
Getting married and issuing of divorce should not be regarded as something trivial. Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) has mentioned:
قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ما أحل الله شيئا أبغض إليه من الطلاق
(سنن ابي داود, ج1 ص296,سعيد)
“Allah Ta’ala has not permitted anything more detested to him than Talaaq”
عن ابن عمر عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال أبغض الحلال إلى الله تعالى الطلاق
(سنن ابي داود, ج1 ص296,سعيد)
“From all that which is Halaal, the most detested of all to Allah is Talaaq”
Not every marriage is a smooth sailing, problem free marriage. Inevitably, there will be some turbulence and the couple will have to diagnose the problem and solve it in the most diplomatic manner. Those marriages that had survived the storm have proven to be the most lasting of marriages.
It is indeed a very big decision to make. Consult with the seniors of your family and utilise every possible avenue to save the marriage from breaking down.
We make dua that Allah Ta’ala assist you in making the correct decision and grant you Barakah and happiness in that, Aameen.
And Allah knows best
Wassalaamu `alaykum
Ml. Rayhaan Docrat,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah