my question is that what does islam says about virginity. the reason i am asking this question is because me and my friends are very worried about it. Alhaumdulillah we are pure and religious girls but still as you know that just riding a horse, or jumping can make girls not virgin. espeically, in our societies they always take it in a very wrong way that girls might have done a sin. for example, if a girl get married and the husband finds out that she is not virgin then he kicks her out of the house. even if she had been a pure girl and very protected. however, she could have lost her virginity when she was young by just playing jumbo, or riding a bicycle etc. would you please tell me about it? This question is for every girl who are wondering about themselves. our socitey can kill us to death if we girls are not virgin. So what does islam says about it, and our people should know about?
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Your question is regarding the hymen, a fold of tissue at the entrance of the female private part. Unfortunately, people incorrectly believe that a virgin woman has an intact hymen and, in contrast, a torn hymen means that a woman is not a virgin. However, this is not correct.
Very often, a woman may tear her hymen earlier in her life while riding a bike, jumping, doing gymnastics, etc, many times without even realizing it. A torn hymen does not indicate to the lack of virginity. A woman loses her virginity only through intimate relations.
Furthermore, the first time a woman has relations, it is possible for her to not even tear her hymen. And, if she does, then it is possible that she may not bleed. Hence, the husband cannot use the existence of an intact hymen or its breaking on the first night to judge the virginity of his wife.
Therefore, the actions you mention of your community are appalling, despicable, and based on utter ignorance. Based on a torn hymen, it is absolutely harām for her family to accuse her of having had illegitimate relations (i.e. zinā) before. Allāh Ta’ālā mentions regarding those who accuse chaste women:
وَالَّذِينَ يَرْمُونَ الْمُحْصَنَاتِ ثُمَّ لَمْ يَأْتُوا بِأَرْبَعَةِ شُهَدَاءَ فَاجْلِدُوهُمْ ثَمَانِينَ جَلْدَةً وَلَا تَقْبَلُوا لَهُمْ شَهَادَةً أَبَدًا وَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْفَاسِقُونَ (4) إِلَّا الَّذِينَ تَابُوا مِنْ بَعْدِ ذَلِكَ وَأَصْلَحُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ (5) وَالَّذِينَ يَرْمُونَ أَزْوَاجَهُمْ وَلَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُمْ شُهَدَاءُ إِلَّا أَنْفُسُهُمْ فَشَهَادَةُ أَحَدِهِمْ أَرْبَعُ شَهَادَاتٍ بِاللَّهِ إِنَّهُ لَمِنَ الصَّادِقِينَ (6) وَالْخَامِسَةُ أَنَّ لَعْنَتَ اللَّهِ عَلَيْهِ إِنْ كَانَ مِنَ الْكَاذِبِينَ (7) وَيَدْرَأُ عَنْهَا الْعَذَابَ أَنْ تَشْهَدَ أَرْبَعَ شَهَادَاتٍ بِاللَّهِ إِنَّهُ لَمِنَ الْكَاذِبِينَ (8) وَالْخَامِسَةَ أَنَّ غَضَبَ اللَّهِ عَلَيْهَا إِنْ كَانَ مِنَ الصَّادِقِينَ (9) (النور: 4-9)
(4) And those who accuse chaste women and do not produce four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes and reject their testimony forever. They are the evil-doers. (5) Except those who repent thereafter and do righteous deeds. Verily, Allāh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (6) And those who accuse their wives but have no witnesses except themselves, let the testimony of one of them be four testimonies by Allāh that he is one of those who speak the truth (7)And the fifth (testimony should be) the invoking of the curse of Allāh on him if he is from amongst the liars (Qur’ān 24:4-9)
Utilizing the services of an ‘Ālim or elder, respected members of your family/community, you should convey this information to them and notify them of the impermissibility and ignorance of their actions.
And Allah knows best
Wassalamu Alaikum
Ml. Abrar Mirza,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah