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I want a baby…i have only been married for few months now, and still young,and also i want to complete my education.

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

I really want to have a baby rite now, i have only been married for few months now, and still young,and also i want to complete my education. My husband is a really nice gentle and great man, and for my sake and my educations sake he has said that, we should wait till I am done with school since he want me to give our baby a whole devotion possible. ..but I believe allah wouldnt have someone desire something so badly that they cant live without for nothing. and my desire is on its high stage, sometimes i wonder maybe allah is testing my saaber.I really want my family to be complete. i think i wont have any problem, then again my mind is divided. I have been having dreams where my mother is in abaya and i think nikab also, and she hands me a baby to raise. and not just this i have been having these kinda dreams for quite some time now where ppl (women) give me babies to raise and have, like their own or something. I took a faal and it said i can proceed with my decision.  but i dont know what to do, can i have an advice please? and What exactly would u say my dreams mean? I really want to know what my dreams mean, sometimes its a baby girl, sometimes its a boy, but as far as i remember its mostly girl?


Jazakallah for the question you have sent to the institute.

You write about your desire to have a baby “right now” and how this is affecting you.

My impression is that you are a very young person as you state that your husband would like you to complete your schooling first. I also note that you are rather ambivalent about your desire to have a baby as you yourself say that, “My mind is divided.”

I somehow do not understand why you are in such a terrible hurry to have a baby as you have been married for a few months only. Alhamdulillah, your desire to have a baby is a normal one which most women have after they get married and insha’allah, you shall be blessed with many children in the future, ameen. Your husband is a “nice, gentle and great man” as you say. Sister my advice to you is that at the moment you should enjoy your husband’s company and get to know him better.

Have you thoroughly discussed your confusion about this issue with your husband? It is so important for you to openly discuss this with your husband so that the two of you can come to a mutual decision. It seems he realises that once you have a baby your schooling will be halted because looking after a baby is a full-time occupation, especially for the first two- three years.

As you say, it may be possible that your patience is being tested. I suggest that you turn to Allah Ta’ala by means of dua, salaah, zikr, sadaqua and istigfaar. I am sure you are aware that sometimes Allah Ta’ala answers our duas immediately, sometimes after a while and sometimes we will have the dua fulfilled in the hereafter. Put your full trust in Allah Ta’ala.

You are so preoccupied with this desire to have a baby that your subconscious is playing out this overwhelming desire in various dreams. Try to share some activity with your husband whenever you have time ( everyday or night) so that the bond between you two becomes stronger. May I suggest that if you have lots of free time, do think of occupying yourself in assisting your community in some way. This could help you to become more focused and relaxed too.

Please write again if you wish. May Allah Ta’ala guide you and fulfill your duas, ameen.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Sister Fadila


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