Please advise if it possible for a wife to stay with her parents while there is another man (cousin not blood related) staying in the same house?
My wife wants some time off as we were having problems in our marriage and the cousin male who is also married and having problems in his life and marriage is staying there?
There is only the mother, father that stay in that house ?
Please advise if it’sokay for her to stay there cos i believe at this stage they are both vulnerable ? is it permissible in islamic shariah ?
jazakalla so much for your time and effort, may the almighty reward you and your family abundantly in this world and the aaakirah
In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
Having been inundated with work, we sincerely apologise for this belated response.
In such circumstances, it is most certainly not advisable for your wife to stay amidst a strange man even though it is her parent’s home. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam has stated:
“There is no challenge and test (fitnah) greater upon men, than women.”
We live in an era where we are surrounded with all types of challenges and tests. Mans spiritual and moral decline, makes him prone and vulnerable to even the “slightest” trial he encounters. What then can be said if he is confronted with the greater or the greatest test, the test of women?
Respected brother, we therefore exhort you to adopt much caution when dealing with this issue. In this scenario, your wife and her cousin are not mahrams to one another, i.e. they are strangers, making nikah possible between them. Hence, strict observance of the Islamic laws of Hijab is mandatory upon the two.
Let us understand the veracity of this situation:
- Though we trust that the two of them will surely try their utmost to uphold the sacred and vital injunction of Hijab, experience shows that in such circumstances these laws are usually flouted.
- If her parents are perhaps old and weak, what role or to what extent will they play to ensure the laws of Hijab are maintained? There may be much neglect in supervising this and acting as a barrier between the strangers.
- Since there will be two strangers staying ‘together’, this will arouse great suspicion in the minds of people. This will create a lot of misgivings and allegations against the two.
- With a man and women staying ‘together’, it is only natural that one party is attracted to the opposite gender. This is the way Allah created us.
Islam’s teachings are very broad minded and accommodating yet, at the same time it is very cautious and protecting. Islam advocates chastity and exhorts us to refrain from avenues, situations and practices which may give raise to misgivings and accusations to this chastity. It also teaches us to avoid going to avenues or adopting such practices where we voluntarily impose a challenge and risk on our Iman. Then, instead of solving a problem, you will now be a cause for additional problems. Islam also teaches us to..
Nevertheless, once understanding the above remarks, and whilst we commend you trying to resolve the difficulty you experiencing, we earnestly recommend you to consider an alternative in doing so. Also remember that the solution may not be in separation. Shaytan will thrive on this opportunity and create animosity between the two making reconciliation difficult, if not impossible. Also, since both, your wife and her cousin are experiencing marital problems; they will both be vulnerable in seeking sympathy from each other. This will then cause even greater trouble and fitnah.
Always remember the comforting ayat of the Quran:
“Whoever adopts piety, Allah will most definitely create an avenue or way out to his problems.”
Continue remembering us in your duas!
And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum
Ml. Zeyad Danka,
Student Dārul Iftā
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah