i am 24yrs old girl, i was in relationship, i prayed to Allah for his good future, his good life and to marry him. but he ditched me, infact he was not least interested in me, i was very hurt. infact i also helped him financially. is there any duaa that he should feel guilty and i can have my money back
Jazakallah for the question which you have sent to the institute. Your very first sentence is rather disturbing.
Sister, I can understand that you may be feeling hurt and angry with the person who has betrayed you. However, as a Muslim you are expected to follow the teachings of our beloved Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam). It is not acceptable to wish ill or harm towards another Muslim no matter what the circumstances. To curse or make dua against another human being, and to wish for them what we would not want for ourselves is contrary to the precepts of our Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) and not becoming of a Muslim. The act which will earn you greater rewards from Allah Ta’ala is ‘forgiveness’ . On the day of reckoning you will expect that Allah Ta’ala will forgive every sin of yours. The sins which you committed consciously and unconsciously. Each one of us will be in that desperate position, for if we fail to have our sins forgiven by our Creator, we are doomed. If you forgive this person now, your status will be elevated by Allah Ta’ala in this world and insha’allah in the hereafter. “Revenge” is a sign of a weak character and my hope is that you have made the request for a dua out of hurt and anger only. Don’t let shaitaan destroy you, stay on the straight path by seeking Allah Ta’ala’s help for something /someone better in the future, insha’allah.
You say that you assisted this man financially. Well, you probably did it willingly and of your free will. If you say that he controlled you, then I suggest that he could have exercised this control over you only because you allowed him to do so. In other words you relinquished your ability/ right to make independent judgments and decisions. In either case, how and why do you think he is now going to experience guilt over that? You say he was not really interested in you, this is probably true. So why go on showing interest in him by including him in your conversations with Allah Ta’ala? I can assure you that you will gain nothing but more pain and self-injury if you go on dwelling on how to ‘sort him out’. You will be inflicting injury on yourself whilst he will be getting on with his life. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to get on with your life?
I also wish to point out to you that in Islam it is totally unacceptable to have an affair or to be in a “relationship” with a man before marriage. This is direct disobedience and a rejection of Allah Ta’ala’s commandments. Allah Ta’ala commands that men and women exercise modesty. Dating is not part of the Islamic culture. This concept is totally alien to Islam and belongs to other cultures. Allah Ta’ala does not bless this relationship in any way and it is considered a major sin. A Muslim man and a Muslim woman are allowed to be alone with each other only after their nikah has been performed.
Dear sister, consider this as a test from your Creator. Something worse could have happened to you by being with this man. Instead, you have been released from an insincere and shaky ‘bond’. Count it as a blessing from Allah Ta’ala. Turn to Him in sincere repentance, ask Allah Ta’ala to forgive you for this transgression. Thank Him for releasing you from this relationship and promise not to return to a situation like this again. Focus on growing positively as a Muslim woman in every way possible. Make a conscious decision to live your life according to Allah Ta’ala’s commandments. Seek knowledge in the Quran, hadith and through learned sisters and elders as to how you can turn your life around to focus on obtaining the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala. Men/women are perishable commodities, weak, fickle, aimless, sinful and greedy. We are all destined to leave the world someday. That is the only sure guarantee we have in this life. Everything else is an ‘if’ or a ‘maybe’.
We come from Allah Ta’ala and to Him is our return. Sister, prepare for this return as best you can. Concentrate on your salaah, fasts, zikr and good deeds. When you seek Allah Ta’ala, you will find Him and you will gain more than what you have lost materially and emotionally. Put your total trust in Him and insha’allah, you will be rewarded with a life filled with grace, peace and tranquillity.
Do feel free to write again if you wish. MAy Allah Ta’ala guide you, ameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
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CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai