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My mother is a pious woman but she doesnt want me to get married now at 23 yrs of age, help. any Islamic feedback on how I can prove her wrong and make her see the folly of her mentality?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

ASAK, I am 23, almost have reached my career goals Inshallah, very beautiful face, not so thin body. My mother tells me I should not think about marriage because I don’t deserve to. She tells me the minute I get my self in shape she?ll have boys lined up for me from California to New Jersey. I am an American born Pakistani and have seen promiscuity my entire life. I feel 23 is a reasonable age to marry regardless of my body type. Considering I?ve stayed away from men thus long, I feel my request is reasonable. I am afraid if she persists in this ridiculous manner, then rebelliousness might start rearing its ugly head. The funny thing is my mother is a very pious lady and I am surprised she talks like that. Do u have any Islamic feedback on how I can prove her wrong and make her see the folly of her mentality?

Answer

Masha-Allah, it is encouraging that you wish to marry instead of engaging into Haraam love affairs. It is possibly certain personal reasons of your mothers or fear that causes her to rebel against the idea of marriage. Are you aware of any possibilities?

However in the interim make dua incessantly- and when looking for a boy, look first for positive Deeni characteristics, good personality, good choice of friends, investigate the company he keeps, his life style and compatibility with yourself. Don’t hasten into a rash decision. Thereafter, also make Istikhaarah.

However, as per your request, on Ahaadith to the effect, that if a good proposal comes and the parents turn it away, then there will be fitna and fasaad (corruption) widespread in the world. Don?t use it as a point, as it may cause her to retaliate further. You may also purchase reading material like ‘kitaabun nikah’ ‘tohfa-e-dulhan (a gift to the bride)’ etc. both for you and your mothers benefit.

May Allah Ta’ala bless you with a good husband who will be the coolness of your eyes and an asset to your deen.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

2SOCIAL DEPT.

CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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