Question: My parents tell me that I am misguided because I follow a madhab and reject good innovation. They believe that one should see the opinions of the four imams and then follow the ruling given by a scholar who picks the one with the most evidence. They forbid me to seek knowledge anywhere besides Salafi scholars. Can I leave my home against their wishes to learn in traditional Islam? If my parents only allow me to marry a Salafi in the future, can I get married with a different wali, such as a paternal uncle or grandfather?
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration at not being able to convince your parents of the truth. By the grace of Allah, and with time, they will come around; perhaps the truth will come to them through you and your future spouse or even your children.
Disobeying parents
There is some leeway to taking matters into your own hands when you are prevented from learning obligatory religious knowledge by your parents. Please see the details here:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/when-may-parents-be-disobeyed-and-how/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/parents/promise-to-ones-parents/
Tact
Because you are in the rare circumstance where you are right, and your parents are wrong, it would be permissible for you to seek correct and authentic traditional knowledge of Islam, but you would do better to do it without breaking their hearts. Can you take classes online? Can you speak to them with respect and politeness about this topic and ask them to hear you out sometimes, even if they disagree? Can you practice what you know without displaying it outwardly all the time? Can you go out to learn but come back within the limits that they set? Perhaps show them this article:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/who-or-what-is-a-salafi/
Marriage
There would be some details around the subject of your marriage to a man that they might not approve of, but you should not worry about those details now. The bottom line is that there is always a way out for a girl who wants to choose the right spouse for herself when her parents are pushing for the wrong man for her religion. See the details here:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/can-marry-secret-minimum-conditions-valid-marriage-order-avoid-fornication/
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next, and I pray that Allah facilitates these matters for you.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.