my question is taht if one gets a proposal which is nice but does not contain the qualities taht one will like to have in his or her life partner…does it means that Allah will discard us from his blessings and we will not get the kind of life partner we want and pray for??
Hazrat Abu Hurairah (RA) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, ‘When a person proposes a marriage to you (for a female in your family) and you are happy with his religion and character, then marry him (accept his proposal). If you do not do that, there will be corruption and widespread evil on earth.’ (Mirqaat, Ali ibn Sultan vol. 6 pg. 192 – Multan)
The above hadith provides two guidelines for a female to consider a proposal: One) The males adherence to Deen, Two) The males good character.
In order to establish and maintain a successful marriage, both guidelines, adherence to Deen and good character are equally important. However, the level of the boys adherence to Deen (for example keeping a beard and pants above the ankles etc.) is not been specified in the Shariah. It is left to the discretion and satisfaction of the guardians of the proposed girl. Obviously their concern is the girls peace and prosperity. In a reply to a similar question from a concerned father, Moulana Ashrah Ali Thanvi replied, ‘I . that full religiousness is not to be found in bearded people. One shaves the beard, one is irreligious in other ways so what will you do with only the beard. Look at two things: 1) no doubt in Islamic beliefs. 2) respectful of elders and saints, and kind hearted to fulfill his duties and with some wealth. Then with increasing relationship no matter his beard will also grow. A father approached Hazrat Hasan Basri (RA) saying, I have only one daughter and received many proposals for her. Which proposal should I accept? He replied, accept the proposal of a person who fears Allah, if he loves your daughter, he will honour her, and if he dislikes her, he will oppress her. (Mirqatul Ali-ibn Sultan vol. 6 pg. 188 – Multan).
Kindly elaborate on what you mean by nice qualities and what qualities are you looking for.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai