My question is that my boy friend and I did not make nikah, but started living together. I said to him I accept you as a husband and he did not say it, but kept silent. But it was said between us only, no witnesses. Later, we told our Muslim and non-Muslim friends and neighbors and our landlords and the realtor that we are husband and wife. He would use the word ?my wife? while talking about me to others, and I would talk about him to others by saying ?my husband?. He dropped me at the masjid and two women and one man who were there knew that my husband had dropped me off. Do you think it is legal in the eyes of Islam for us to live together like that? He is not very religious and I am learning Islam also but I know more than he does. If we separate, does he need to divorce me? When he is mad he says I did not marry you so u are not my wife. Is this sharee nikah or not? My second question is if a person has committed major sins in the past and has made tobah?does he need to tell about them to his fiancé or wife? Could he say that I was sinful, but I mended my ways, but I do not want to tell the details. What Allah covers should we uncover to gain trust of some person who wants to know your past that you are not hiding anything from them.
Jazakallah for your query, from what appears your nikaah may not be valid as firstly in privacy there were no witnesses as well as he did not verbally ask you in marriage. He has also denied nikaah. Secondly consider your situation seriously. It is encouraging that you are turning more to Islaam, learning wanting to implement Islaam in your life. Masha Allah.
Start by terminating an adulteress lifestlye forgive us for being so crude however the seriousness of the situation should be concerned especially adultery amonst other severe punishments lead to poverty, shortness of lifespan etc… Repent sincerely cry with remorse, regret and a firm intention never to repeat the adulteress lifestlye. Consider a few moments of carnal lust and pleasure for a lifestlye of misery restlessness and a battle to maintain a relationship going wrong.
The next issue would then be to address the sincerity of the love of the man. If he really loves you he wouldn’t hesitate to marry you. Pose the question and make decision od nikaah or termination of relationship. If the man is way laying you- proclaiming love and other words you wish to hear but is not committing to you then sad to say – he is just using you. What stops him from dropping you especially as you grow older? Also note your biological clock is ticking fast.
Furthermore that would conclude on if a person has committed major sins etc repent and never repeat them again thank our kind loving Creator for covering your faults. Be grateful and remorseful. Discussing these issues and should you marry the person- may lead to other issues like him throwing it at you in an argument etc. However if one has acquired Aids etc then it is incumbent to in form the person – owing to transferral of disease.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Was Salaam
Social Dept.2