1.Is the wife allowed to call husbands name ?
2.I have got a child who is 3 months old and my husband wants another kid ,,its very hard for me ,,he doesnt alloew me ta take pills and he wnats an other baby,,,if i deny that he says I am disobeying him ,,what can I do?
3.A woman place is at home but my husaband wants me to have experience of a working woman ,he wants me to use my studies and get a nice job rather than sitting home ,,according to islamic view is it right for me ?as its my husband wish??
Jazaakallah for your confidence in us. Maashaa Allah, we commend you on your concern to fulfil your husband’s duties with love and fear of Allah Ta’ala. From your question, one gains an impression of cross-communication between your husband and yourself. Does one sense a deep lying tension between you both? It is advisable to first address the root of the problem, as other issues will slot in easily. One notices the contradictions of commands in the light of the Shari’ah. It appears, if you say yes, he will say no. likewise, if you say black, he will say blue. There is a need for him to maintain control and possession over you. One also senses sadness in your line of questioning. Hence, address his need to control as well as other problems first.
However, in answering your questions:
1) If he does not want you to call him by his name, use loving terms of endearment like ‘honey’, ‘darling’, or any other pet name – this will encourage love between you both, Insha Allah. If he wishes you to call him by his name, no harm, however adding a loving tone will most certain win his favour.
2) Questions 2 and 3 does clash, as how would he expect you to work and be pregnant at the same time, is it that you being pregnant and with child makes him feel safe – at the same time your financial gain will be a benefit?
Perhaps, advise from a third person or a doctor to your husband would be important as far as a child – baby being three months old – any you conceiving immediately depends on your capability, on your body, healing getting strong, etc. Especially, considering breast-feeding, proper care and adequate attention to child – if you can manage, no harm, however, spacing of 2 years apart is perhaps a better option to consider especially your cry on ‘baby only three years old’. Furthermore, if you intend working with baby so small, it is not advisable – as baby needs love and care and nurturing by the mother herself not an alternative day care parent. Remember, the bonding of mother and child is essential for the solid stable upbringing of child. Many a social problem as well as medical has resulted because of absent parent syndrome. Hence, with one child it is not advisable to work, so with many children most certainly no. Furthermore, most certainly the women’s place is at home – consider a working mother, coming home exhausted then he has to attend to cooking, children, husband, home – then to wake up early, see to lunch, rush to work. What does a man do? Only worry about going to work? Isn’t Allah Ta’ala’s system beautiful in considering the needs of women?
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Sister Amatullah
SOCIAL DEPT.
CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai