I am considering becoming a second wife to a man who has been emotionally blackmailed by parents to marry another girl. I suffer depression as a result. Please give duas to recite.
I met a man almost seven ago who has Alhumdulilah brought me closer to Allah swt – I started wearing hijab, performing salat and memorising quran through his influence and the mercy of Allah. However at the same time many bad things came out of our bond – the sin of zina and the heartbreak that followed. 3 weeks ago, he married someone his parents chose. He was told he had to marry her or be cut off from his family. He loves his family, and didn’t want to see them mistreat me (which he had good reason to believe they would) and neither did he want to break the bonds of family.
I suffer from depression and this man has been my main support as well as my best friend for so many years. I have treated him as my husband. I am currently considering polygamy as a solution to the problems we have created. I find myself unable to contemplate a future without him because he has been such a major part of my life for so many years and I have already shared my body, my mind and my heart with him. I was sincere in my intention to marry him and deeply regret the zina we committed as does he. Please advise whether it is a sensible move considering becoming second wife to a man who is weak to the demands of his family. I know he is a good man, but I also know he finds it difficult to stop his family when they are doing wrong.
Jazakallah for writing to the institute. I have a few questions for you.
Whose decision was it that you should become a second wife? Your decision or his? Are you employed? What will his input be in your life as a second wife? Will he share everything with you equally? Time, wealth, holidays etc? What does your family have to say about this decision? Has he informed his family about this planned marriage? Wheer do you see yourself in this marraige five years down the line?
I await your responses and any other relevant information you may wish to share with me.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best.
Sister Fadila
Social dept.
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai