I have problem whereby I always get thoughts that some of my actions maybe leading to apostasy or some type of disbeliefs. These thoughts are driving me to despair and make me think I have to renew my Imaan and Nikaah, which would be difficult since I just recently got married in an overseas country. For example: 1) I was during Hajj and I and some people were discussing something during which I said to them to explain that ALlah has the most power/knowledge that “you know the problem with ALlah, it is that he cannot become more powerfull since He is the most Powerfull”. I said this in order to praise ALlah but realized that I had used words that are not proper. My intention was not to commit blasphemy. 2) I was discussing about Halaal/Kosher foods with a non-muslim office-mate at work at the end of which he said laughingly that he only buys non-Kosher ( meaning Haraam ) foods at which I laughed and said that is the opposite of what I do. Was this also apostasy? 3) I was so despaired by thoughts of apostasy that along with making Tawbah and crying I called out to ALlah “why was I born” and “I wish I was not born” by tongue and heart. Was this unIslamic statement. Please help me What is the remedy for these problems? Do I have to renew my Nikah? I am feeling very humiliated.
None of the three are words or acts of Kufr.
Your third statement, ?Why I was born? is due to unnecessary frustration. You firmly believe Allah is Most Powerful, you believe in abstaining from Haraam. All that is perfectly in order.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai