In this case asking for divorce? it will be a sin? please reply back i’m been submiting for number of times but no answer.
I’m a second wife of my husband when we got married, he told me that he has a wife with kids but she is separate and she is filing for divorce (which later on he mention that it was his guess that she was filling for divorce) I agreed to marry him because he told me that I will help him raised his kids as a good muslims since the first wife is a converted muslim (not practing). But now more then one year passed he didn’t tell her because right now for court pending case he is living with his brother and he is telling me that for kids sake he has to go stay with her but he will not tell her ever and by hiding from her he will pay me visits. And he is also telling me if I give up my rights like about spending time, money, and other matter then he can manage the two wives it means he will come to me when he can and give me fix money but not equally. Bear in mind that our marriage is not disclosed to anyone in our family because he told me his case is pending in court about his children visitation and first wife can create problems for him. right now he has limited visitation to his kids due to his wife filed the case of neglecting( which is not true) and he talks to the kids over the phone,.
this is my second marriage too and I have one 10 year old and my husband passed away. By Allah’s guidance I’m learning deen and trying hard to practice in my daily life, Alhumdolliah. I have good heart and I want to stay with him and help him but no matter how hard I’m trying my mind is not in peace because I feel more like his girl friend then his wife and I know he has this four marriages right from Allah and I have no objection and how he will be handling if he will never want to tell her about us? The way he come and leave it really hurt me. my son also need a father figure and I think he is fail to be there for me and him since he never want to tell her about us.
Please tell me if he cant do justice between two of us and I don’t want him to divorce her can I ask for divorce? is this is a sin? because I’m mentally and emotionally getting hurt and it is also effecting my son.
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh
Regardless of his deceptive attitude in getting you as his second wife, this is not a valid reason for demanding a divorce.
At the very outset, the ‘secret nikah’ that both of you had conducted was incorrect. Although the nikah may be valid, but the manner in which it was conducted was incorrect. The nikah should have been openly announced in public. In the scenario described by you, he is treating you more as a mistress than a wife. You should politely beg him to fulfill your rights of equality and justice. Also, we urge you to adopt patience for a little while longer and perhaps he will realize his erroneous ways and attempt to rectify the situation. Also, continue making dua to Allah Ta’aala.
And Allah knows best
Wassalam
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah