I have 3 questions all related to the same problem. I married my wife two years ago. We are in our twenties and happily married alhamdulillah with one child. The problem is that my urge for intimacy is much greater than hers. Although she does her best to see to my needs, she finds it difficult sometimes because I am too demanding of her and she says she cannot cope. It is causing problems in our relationship. For these reasons, she has agreed to my marrying a second wife. My questions are: 1) In this situation should I marry a second wife if I know it will bring embarrassment and shame to my family and my wife?s? 2) If a second wife is much older, say 40 and has grown up daughters would they be mahrem to me (even though they might be my age) ? (3) How can a muslim man know before marriage whether his wife-to-be has similar levels of ?sexual energy? to himself, so that they would be compatible?
1. According to Shari’ah you are permitted to have more than one wife, to the maximum of four at once on condition you are able to maintain equality
among all the wives – in financial support and time.
Embarrassment and shame due to remarrying has no basis in Shari’ah. If you
wish to consider that and not marry, that is your choice. In such a
situation,, you may look for ways to suppress your desires, for example,
fasting and controlling your diet. In fact, you should try this option
before considering remarrying.
2. The husband will be a Mahram to his wife’s daughters. If they are of the
same age, they should conduct themselves with modesty. If there is a fear of
Fitnah, they should observe Hijaab in front of the stepfather.
3. We do not know.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai