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Dear Sheikh, I am planning to be married to a girl whose parents dont accept our intention for marriage because I am not the same colour

Her parents tell her she can never be happy without their blessings & that she wont enter jannah because they are displeased with her. I met her parents some time ago & they were happy with my deen but not my colour. I am very pleased with her Deen too. The Prophet (saws) commanded parents to allow a nikah of they were pleased with the religion & character of a young man otherwise there will be corruption as we can see the world over. I refuse to believe that Allah would not have mercy upon us & punish her for exercising her choice. The parents obviously fear they will lose respect in the community ( and have actually stated this in words to her), but are we to gain the Love of Allah or the love of small minded people? I want her parents to be involved i our life but I cant change the colour of my face & thats the only problem they have with me. I understand that she can marry without their consent as she is almost in her mid-twenties. Although we are to marry regardless inshAllah I just wanted some daleel & good advice from you in this situation. The media loves to talk about how Muslimahs are oppressed by Islam & we all get offended by this, yet behind closed doors we are doing exactly that by pressuring our precious sisters into marriages that they dont want. How can we expect women to co-habit with men they have no attraction to at all. I know this is not what Islam teaches. So who is wrong? I look forward to your reply. Thankyou

Answer

You stated that you are going to marry the girl regardless. If there is
compatibility between you and the girl and you are certain of having a
prosperous marriage, both of you had also make Istikhara then there should
be no Sharee obstacle to marry. We advise you and the girl to exercise
restraint until it is possible to convince the girl’s parents of her will as
well to marry you. They should be explained that Istikhara has been made.
Their blessings are important for the girl’s peace and happiness as she may
not be able to bear the burden of her parents’ displeasure of marrying
without their approval. That may effect the marriage itself defeating the
objective of Nikah being peace, love and happiness.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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