Most of us are familiar with the story of the marriage of Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, one of the Prophet’s (peace be upon him’s) wives, peace be upon her; we know that the Prophet (pbuh) worked for Khadijah and that within a fairly short period of time, Khadijah determined he would be a suitiable partner in life, as well, and so she proposed marriage to the Prophet (pbuh).
In my life, a Muslim man was assisting me with my career and education. Within a fairly short time, I determined that he would be a suitable partner in life also, and just as Khadijah wanted to marry the Prophet (pbuh), I wanted to marry this man. However, when I made an offer of marriage to this man, he was irritated that I mislead him regarding our interactions, viewing me as having ulterior motives in mind and clearly wanting more than an assistance with my career and education. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he refused and actually threatened that he would obtain a restraining order against me if I were to contact him again.
I have been so heartbroken and dejected; I have not contacted this man for almost a year and a half. However, the only thing I wish to do is apologize for misleading this man regarding my interactions; I had certainly liked him before he agreed to assist me with my career and education, especially since he had a wonderful reputation, but I did not know for certain whether I would have proposed a marriage to him.
Could you please offer me some suggestion about what is the morally responsible, and Islamically appropriate course of action for me?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuhu.
Sister in Islam.
Shariah advises us to avoid a doubtful situation. While we understand your initial introduction with the man in reference was based on assisting you, your proposal to marry him in that context was incorrect and led to distrust.
Nevertheless, you were sincere in your intention to propose to marry him. He refused the offer due to having misread you and misunderstanding you. There is no need for you to apologise to him.
In future, you should exercise caution and avoid a doubtful situation. It is also important to strictly adhere to the Shariah laws of Hijab and modesty.
We make dua Allah grant you ease and peace.
And Allah Ta‘āla Knows Best
Bayazeed
Student – Darul Iftaa
UK
Checked and approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
04-12-1440 | 06-08-2019