Assalamalaikum. Please could you answer my question privately without publishing any details. I am married and have 2 children and although I love my wife and get on ok generally, she refuses to get intimate with me. I am ashamed to say I have committed zina with men and women several times and then done taubah with firm resolution never to do it again but then I have gone on to commit zina again. This time I am making taubah with all my heart and Inshallah I will never do these filthy sins again. I am worried however that if doing only taubah is enough for me. I have commited zina with another man Ustugfirullah is my nikah still ok? Pleasecould you give me some advice what to do and where i stand, I have read that shariah says homosexuals should be executed, what does that mean for me,will Allah forgive me?Jazakallah for your time
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We are pleased to hear of your determination to abstain from committing the filthy act of Zina. That is indeed a step in the right direction.
With regards to the punishment of homosexuality, the Fuqaha(jurists) have mentioned that the punishment of a homosexual is that of Ta’zeer (punishment) in the form of burning with fire, crushing a wall on such a person, lashing, imprisonment until death or even throwing such a person from a high cliff.[1]
However, if a person has a habit of doing the filthy act of homosexuality, then the Imaam is entitled to issue the decree of execution on such a person.[2]
The Fuqahaa have however stated that only the Imam (supreme leader of the Muslims) has the juristic authority to issue such a decree.[3] You are therefore not eligible for the above mentioned Ta’zeer since you are living in a non-Muslim democratic country.
Your Nikaah is still in-tact as long as you did not issue your wife a divorce.[4]
We advise you to make sincere Tawba (repentance) from such sins so that you are not punished in the Hereafter. Build up your relationship with Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) and make that your constant helpline, 24/7.
With regards to your wife not being intimate with you:
Marriage is an institution of love, harmony, peace, security and bliss. Every relationship is promoted by an objective. The man has his objectives for marrying the wife and so does the wife. The husband and wife both have physical desires which they wish to fulfill through the institution of marriage (Nikaah). It is important for the spouses to understand each other’s temperament and nature in order for these objectives to be attained. One needs to analyze the situation carefully and see where am I missing the train. It maybe lack of quality family time, minimal inter- activity between spouses or even a lack of properly approaching your wife in order to seduce her into intimacy.
She may be extremely shy; you need to slowly connect with her inner feelings. Once you have connected with the heart of a woman, she will be ready to do anything for you. It may be a good idea to go on a vacation with her. That maybe the ideal location for you to seduce her into an intimate relationship. Increase your time with her. Find out what she likes to do and treat her to what she likes. Observe what qualities she likes in you and what she doesn’t, make an effort in improving in those that she hates, which may be hampering your relationship progressing to the next level.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mawlana Ismail Desai,
Student Darul Iftaa
Durban, South Africa
Checked and Concurred by,
Mufti Faisal bin Abdul Hameed,
Montréal, Canada
Darul Iftaa Buiding Project
Assalāmu `alaikum Warahmatullāhi Wabrakatuh,
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