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Son going with grandparents

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

My parents in law are not in good terms with me. They hate me and are not in talking terms with my parents. When my second child was born (out of jealousy) they did not come to see her at all for one whole year. My husband is their only son and is very religious. He had a very abusive childhood because of which he suffers anxiety and panic attacks. Now they want to take my elder son with then to india for vacation and i don’t trust them to allow them to take my kid. My husband is also not willing to send but cannot say anything to his parents as they will emotionally torture him. My mother in law always want to meet my son in privacy and ask a lot of questions about our life. She also brainwash him against me. Am i wrong in not allowing my son in not meeting them in privacy? They can come home any time and play with kids in my presence

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister in Islam,

We understand your predicament. May Allah Ta’ala soften the hearts of your in laws towards you, and your family . Aameen.

In principle, only the parents have the right of custody for the child. The grandparents may not speak to or take the child out privately without the parents’ consent.

You and your husband should try to respectfully bring up the matter with your in laws. Your husband should explain to them how their utterances affect him emotionally. Ensure that the approach to them is with utmost respect and humility. He should also make an effort to reconcile the relationship between yourself and your in-laws. He should not impose himself upon them, rather he should attempt to maintain a stable and healthy relationship in marriage between all parties.

You may also identify a senior family member who has influence over your husbands parents to intervene and counsel them to reunite.

Above all, we advise you to turn to Allah Ta’ala with Dua, Zikr and Salaah and beg Allah Ta’ala to change your situation. At the same time exercise patience and make your situation a reason to draw from the bounties of Allah Ta’ala and attain closeness to Allah Ta’ala.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

 

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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