Assalamualaikum I am very much troubled n distressed, the thing is in my first year of course I loved a girl but she didn’t love me at all I did everything I could to please her. As nothing was turning out good I left later in the final year she realised and she came back but till then I had lost feelings for her I didn’t have the same respect n love moreover I decided to become good n distract my mind from all these things but as she came she was so changed n loved me so much that again I fell for her we have many misunderstandings my parents are OK with her but she belongs to different Jamaat n she is ready to sacrifice anything but not her Jamaat n had wants me to change ,she loves me a lot even I love her now but in between the two years few things happened which always haunt me n prick in my heart she is good she loves me but her parents will not agree for us n I don’t want to hurt her i m.very much disturbed n in a dilemma when I wanted her she didn’t come n now I dnt want her she is there always tell me what shud I do pls pray for me I don’t want to spoil her n my life,she is dependent on me she literally thinks me her husband though we are not married, pls pray for both of us n guide me what to do n let me b consistent on that decision whatever may happen pls o need a detailed answer n reply pls guide me n I dnt want to hurt her pls pray for her also Jazakallah khair
In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother in Islaam.
You have stated your relationship with the girl in reference.
You seek our guidance. This is indeed a sign of your consciousness and Imaan.
At the outset, we point out that Shari’ah has prohibited any contact with a non-mahram girl i.e. who is not prohibited for you to marry. You state, you do not want to hurt the girl and both of you are in love with each other. If it is decreed for both of you not to be married, then that will definitely hurt more. This is the negative consequence of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
We advise that you discuss this issue with your parents and seek their wise counsel. There are many things to consider in a spouse before committing to marriage. You say she is from a different jamaat and she is not willing to compromise on that. This should suffice for you to realise the consequence of marriage with her.
Marriage is a major step in one’s life. Exercise precaution. Break up all contact with the girl as such contact is Haraam. The pain of breaking up with her will become easier. Delaying will only make it more painful. Also, make Tawbah (repentance) and Istighfaar for the Haraam contact as that incurs the wrath and anger of Allah Ta’ala.
And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.