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Teenager facing problems with strict mother

I’m 15 years old and life for me is so difficult at the moment.i cannot identify what is right and what is wrong.i am mentally unstable and am fully depressed due to many serious events that has happened in less than a year.my mum is really strict with me these days and that really upsets me.she judges me a lot and always talks about islam.Dont get me wrong i love being a muslim but there are certain aspects that I’m not really sure with. so please can you guide me here

when i was in yr 8 my mother forced me to wear the hijab when i wasn’t ready. i never said i wouldn’t wear it, its just i wasn’t given the choice and till this day i feel uncomfortable wearing it. this is why i take it off sometimes and i know that isn’t a good thing.Another problem is my mum is very strict when it comes to my friends she doesn’t like me talking to boys due to the bad things i did which is being in a relationship.i know it is bad but I am not going through that path again.i want to talk to both sexes but my mum won’t let me because of religion.ive told her once about all this however she was very angry about it saying i was going against islam and actually wanted to kick me out the house and send me to social services.this is why sometimes i don’t want to stay at home because i always feel upset.i feel alone.i don’t know what to do.please advise me.


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Respected Sister in Islam,

It is a common misconception amongst teenagers to assume that their parents don’t understand them.

Your mother is simply fulfilling her responsibility of looking after your spiritual development.

So long as she is advising you towards the obedience of Allah Ta’ala, you are required to obey her.

Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said,

«إِنَّ اللَّهَ حَرَّمَ عَلَيْكُمْ عُقُوقَ الأُمَّهَاتِ»

“Allah has forbidden for you to be undutiful to your mothers.”[1]

Your mother love you. She knows what is best for you. She has experience in life.

Her advice and conduct towards you is based on her unlimited love and concern for you and to protect your dignity and honor.

In Islam, intermingling with the opposite gender is totally prohibited.

Allah Ta’ala says,

«وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا ۖ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا {32}»

Translation: And do not go near unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way. (Quran 17:32)

Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said,

«لا يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ فَإِنَّ ثَالِثَهُمَا الشَّيْطَانُ» 

“A man should not seclude himself with a woman, for the third amongst them will be shaitan (devil).”[2]

Obedience of your mother will inevitably bring your closer to Allah Ta’ala. We conclude with the statement of the famous Sahabi, Abdullah ibn Abbas (رضى الله عنهما),

«إِنِّي لَا أَعْلَمُ عَمَلًا أَقْرَبَ إِلَى الله عز وجل من بر الوالدة»

“I don’t know of any action which will draw one nearer to Allah, the Exalted, than being dutiful to one’s mother.”[3]

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Saad Haque

Student Darul Iftaa
New Jersey, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.


[1] صحيح البخاري ٥٩٧٥

[2] مسند احمد ١٧٧

[3] الأدب المفرد ٤

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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