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Joint Family and hijaab with in-laws

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

Assalaamu alaikum Am facing a problem with my family I got married recently. My parents want my wife to stay with them . My family is a joint family . I have 3 brothers and two sisters and my parents relative also came there . My family did not seperation between men and women . My wife used to wear nikab and pardha . My parents want her to eat for other non maharam mens . My father want her to talk with him brothers. If my wife hide or put some shal to cover her face for avoiding seeing her my fathers brothers will come and talk . She is helpless .Am not staying in my home . Am staying some where else . My parents want to wear more gold . At the time of nikah my parents told them they dont want gold after that they are forcing her to wear more gold actually she didnt have that much of gold . Am a student of medicin . My parents are forcing my wife to attend function without me and without any seperatuon between men and women . These function have no seperation at all . My parents want her to go to infront of relatives. Pls kindly give me answer Jazahkallah


In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Brother in Islam,

Shari’ah has emphasized on shame and modesty and has closed all doors leading to shamelessness and immorality. A woman is required to maintain hijaab from every ghair mahram (person not prohibited in marriage). She can reveal her beauty only to those people whom Allaah Ta’aala has enumerated in the following verse:

وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَائِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَائِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي أَخَوَاتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَائِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُنَّ أَوِ التَّابِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُولِي الْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ أَوِ الطِّفْلِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا عَلَى عَوْرَاتِ النِّسَاءِ 

Translation: And (command the believing woman) not to expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons, their sisters’ sons, their women (friends), that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women.

 (An-Noor v.31)

Accordingly, it is not permissible for your wife to expose herself to those men not enumerated in the verse and those not equal to those enumerated.

It should also be noted that Rasulullaah (Sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) specifically cautioned against brothers-in-law. Rasulullaah (Sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said:

الحمو الموت[1]

Translation: “The male in-laws are death.”

You should discuss your concern with your parents and request them to excuse your wife from intermingling as she observes the niqaab and she would not want to break the laws of Shari’ah. You may advise your wife to be diplomatic in dealing with the senior members of the family.

Consider the following Hadith:

لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الله عز وجل[2]

Translation: “There is no obedience to the creation while disobeying Allaah the exalted and magnificent.”

You may also request a reputable ‘Aalim or elder in the family who has the understanding of Deen to speak to your family and address the issue.

Supplicate to Allaah Ta’aala that he opens their hearts to Deen and he guides them to the straight path.

If the unlawful interactions do not cease, we advise you to search for a separate residence wherein your wife may live without the laws of Shari’ah being violated.

And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best

Muajul I. Chowdhury

Student Darul Iftaa

New York, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

[1]  صحيح البخاري (7/ 37)

5232 – حدثنا قتيبة بن سعيد، حدثنا ليث، عن يزيد بن أبي حبيب، عن أبي الخير، عن عقبة بن عامر: أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «إياكم والدخول على النساء» فقال رجل من الأنصار: يا رسول الله، أفرأيت الحمو؟ قال: «الحمو الموت»


[2]  مسند أحمد (2/ 333)

 1095 – حدثنا عبد الله، حدثنا عبيد الله بن عمر القواريري، حدثنا ابن مهدي، عن سفيان، عن زبيد، عن سعد بن عبيدة، عن أبي عبد الرحمن السلمي، عن علي، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، قال: ” لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الله عز وجل

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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