I have some concerns with first night as I feel that when I marry the sunnat way, i.e. I only have met the girl with the parents present and then made nikkah, I wiil find it very difficult (I am shy) to be intimate with her. What is your advice?
ETIQUETTES OF THE FIRST NIGHT
In the ideal Islamic situation, the husband and wife will most probably be
total strangers to each other, having no kind of personal contact with each
other previously due to the strict laws of hijab and pardah in the Shariah.
Coupled with this feeling of strangeness are the natural constraints of haya
and modesty, that form an integral part of Imaan. Under the particular
circumstances it is quite natural that both the husband and wife will be
extremely bashful of each other and under considerable strain and anxiety.
In order to “break the ice”, they firstly greet each other with the
traditional Islamic greetings of salaam. Thereafter the husband should
gently place his right hand on his bride’s forehead and recite, ‘Allaahumma
inniy as-aluka min khayrihaa wa khayri maa feehaa wa khayra maa jabaltahaa
alayhi, Wa a’oodhu bika min sharrihaa wa sharri maa feehaa wa sharri maa
jabaltahaa alayhi’ (Translation; “O Allah 1 I ask You of her goodness, the
good within her and the goodness upon which she was created. I seek Your
protection from her evil, the evil within her and the evil upon which she
was created.)
Thereafter, wudhu and two rakats of Salatul-Hajah maybe offered as a token
of gratitude and thereby requesting assistance from Allah [Rabbul-Izzat] for
a successful and blessed marriage, pious offspring, etc.
Thereafter, they may read some Deeni literature to each other, particularly
on the topic of Nikah, etc.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai