Q: I am living with my parents. I started my work with one company in Jeddah and with the passage of time I build relation with my manager. We are serious about each other and due to the influence of evil we crossed our limit by having physical relation with him and upto now I am so ashamed of this.
My parents are Pakistani and they came to know that I have relations with him. So they asked me to leave the job at once which I did. My manager came with the proposal of marriage to my home which they rejected at once. He repeatedly asked them and then my dad said that he will do istekhara.
My manager told my parents that it is not possible for him to involve his family in this marriage because they do not support intercultural marriages at all but he will accept me as a good wife and will take care of me. My parents did not accept that and said they will not go for the proposal until his family participates. He asked them to do istekhara which they said yes.
He was following up with my parents but they were not responding properly. Later on my dad told me he did istekhara which was not good and asked me to move on. On the other hand my heart became more stronger in feelings for him when I did istekhara. But my dad said you are not praying properly so God will not accept your istekhara.
I want to marry him and he was to marry but I do not want my parents to get angry with me. I want you to please help me in this case and guide us the right path as I don’t want to have this relation with any other guy.
A: You should sincerely repent to Allah Ta’ala for the sin you have got involved in and immediately move away from this person. Listen to your parents as they have more experience than you in these matters. Of what good is it that you marry a person whose family will not accept you and nor will your parents be pleased with the nikaah?
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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Answered by:
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)
Q: I was not satisfied with the answer. He cannot introduce me to his family because of our cultural difference. They are marrying only in the community. He still spoke to his mother but she said clearly that they will suffer in the community if she attends the marriage. But my parents are not accepting as his parents are not coming and he is different from us. We like each other a lot. And I am concerned that why we are facing so much trouble in getting marrying to each other, we want to make our haram relationship halal and to spend our lives as per the instructions of Islam .
A: You should listen to your parents.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)