Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My wife agreed before marriage to live with my parents. She has her own room that comes attached with a bathroom. Does she have a right now to demand a separate apartment altogether even if it is within my means? If so will she not be going against the marriage agreement? My parents do not interfere with her life at all nor our relationship.
Answer
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question.
It is very difficult that you ask your wife to stay with your parents forever, and I recommend that you find a way to compromise.
Marriage contract
It is well within her rights to ask to live separately and your marriage agreement cannot take away that right. See the ruling here from Sheikh Nuh ‘Ali Salman about when stipulations are added to the marriage contract:
“(…Extraneous conditions added to the marriage contract, such as that the husband observes monogamy or the like, are not binding, being meaningless, though they do not invalidate the marriage agreement, which remains
effective.) [The Reliance of the Traveller, m3.2 (N)]
Please note from the link below that you have not provided her with a separate kitchen:
A Wife’s Right to Housing Seperate From Her In-Laws
Is It Permissible to Live Separately From In-Laws?
I Am Stuck Between My Mother and My Wife. What Does Islam Say?
Compromise
I don’t want to make you feel like you have not done enough. I’m sure that you have done a fantastic job of fulfilling her needs and doing your best for her peace and privacy. May Allah reward you for that, and the fact that you are asking means that you are not a selfish person, but that you care about her feelings.
That being said, things change with time, families grow and it might be in your best interest as well to pick a good time to move out. I can almost guarantee that it will be better for your marriage and may even help you value your relationship with your parents more. You can still take care of them if you find a place very close by so that you can come and go as you please. Consult all parties involved, pray istikhara, and make your decision based on pleasing Allah and His Messenger and how to best fulfill your duties.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.