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Is It Sinful To Obey My Father Who Tells Me To Block My Grandmother?

Answered as per Shafi'i Fiqh by Seekersguidance.org
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

My father and his mother have always had a rocky relationship. They are always getting offended by each other and not talking to each other for days at a time. It’s worse now that they are both older. 

Recently, my father told me to block her so I would not get her calls and not talk to her. He went so far as to tell me to give him my phone. I reassured him I had blocked her. I know she will get mad at me if I don’t call her soon. Is it sinful to obey him?

Answer

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. 

It is sinful to obey your father in this and you should call your grandmother. I pray that this gets resolved soon.

Obeying parents

Obeying parents is a part of the goodness to parents that is obligatory in Islam, but it is not unconditional. See the details about that here:

When May Parents Be Disobeyed, and How?

Grandmother

Keeping in touch with your grandmother is a very important sunnah, and they are probably the most important people to honor and respect after your own parents. I pray that after your father calms down, that he realizes that he has erred. Barking out ridiculous orders to one’s children out of anger doesn’t benefit anything except one’s ego.

Respectfully

Eventually, when he is calm, try to explain to him that his issues are separate from yours. Instead of telling him to be a better Muslim, put the blame on your feelings and say that it feels wrong to cut her off. Ask Allah always to guide you in these difficult times with supplication, patience, and prayer. 

Please see these tips as well:

Told by Parents to Cut Ties with Brother

Obeying One’s Parents and Maintaining Ties of Kinship

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad  

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

This answer was collected from Seekersguidance.org. It’s an online learning platform overseen by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani. All courses are free. They also have in-person classes in Canada.

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