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How Can I Convince My Boyfriend’s Parents To Allow Us To Marry?

Answered as per Shafi'i Fiqh by Seekersguidance.org
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad


My boyfriend and I have loved each other for four years, and we want to get married. His parents are not accepting me because of my past, even though my boyfriend is OK with it. What should I do?


Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. 

I am sorry that you are in this sinful situation, and I pray that you find the strength to get out of it quickly. Try these steps:

Sincere repentance

The first step to making things halal for you is to repent from the haram you have done and to determine never to return to the sin. Cut him off as a boyfriend, but rather, consider him a suitor that has come for your hand and remain formal with him. Please see this link:

What Are the Conditions of Making Tawba? (Transcript) – Ustadh Abdullah Misra

Convincing his parents

If you want to convince his parents, you will have to sit down with them and let them know your true self. Your religion, good character, politeness, intelligence, and genuineness should shine through. That, coupled with their son’s wishes, can be a strong case to allow you both to marry. Pray the Prayer of Need, supplicate before dawn, don’t miss any prayers, and submit to what Allah wants for you. Please see this answer for more details:

Marrying My Boyfriend

Can I Make Dua That Allah Sends My Boyfriend to Me as My Future Husband?

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad  

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.


This answer was collected from Seekersguidance.org. It’s an online learning platform overseen by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani. All courses are free. They also have in-person classes in Canada.

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