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How to get over my ex-boyfriend?

Answered according to Shafi'i Fiqh by Seekersguidance.org

Question: I was in a relationship with a guy, but I broke up with him as he was not good and was abusive to me. But after a year, I still somewhere feel his presence in my heart. I don’t want to go back, but I can never move on and love my future spouse. What can I do?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I am sorry that you are going through this heartbreak; I assure you that these feelings will pass.

The best advice I can give you is here:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/any-advice-for-detaching-my-heart-from-someone/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/hearts-broken-for-allahs-sake/
https://seekersguidance.org/tag/broken-heart/

Here are a few steps that you can take:
-Make tawba for being in an unlawful relationship and resolve never to repeat this:
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/featured-articles/what-are-the-conditions-of-making-tawba-transcript-ustadh-abdullah-misra/
-Attach your heart to Allah and His Messenger and strive to fulfill your duties to Him. Accept what comes to you from Him with humility, servitude, and submission to His will
-Keep the company of good religious people who have a positive influence on you and don’t spend too much time alone
-Keep yourself busy with worship and beneficial activities, hobbies, or developing a new skill
-Don’t ever mention this illicit relationship to your future husband and trust that Allah will place love in your hearts for each other.
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/should-i-tell-my-spouse-about-my-relationships-before-i-got-married/

May Allah help you transform and grow from this experience with guidance and taqwa.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

This answer was collected from Seekersguidance.org. It’s an online learning platform overseen by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani. All courses are free. They also have in-person classes in Canada.

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