Question: I’m strongly considering marrying someone, but I’m not sure if I have the right reasons. I know certainly that her wealth and lineage are not my reasons. What I’m not sure of is if her deen is my main reason for considering this marriage. I was initially drawn to her for her beauty, and since then, I have found her to be a decently religious person. Should I wait until I find someone whose more deen-oriented in her lifestyle to avoid my nafs (ego)?
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your sincerity and your desire to act according to the Prophetic hadith. I am certain that with your noble intention, you will end up with the right girl by the grace of Allah.
Really, I can’t give you your answer because I know that you can find this answer in your heart. Pray istikhara, and ask Allah if this is the right girl for you. Ask her the most important questions first. Does she pray, fast, and wear hijab? How does she envision raising her children? What are her spiritual and material goals in life? Was she raised in a religious family? From this, you should gather sufficient information to help you finalize your answer, along with your istikhara.
Are looks important? Of course, they are, and a couple attracted to each other is more conducive to a loving and happy marriage, at least until they build a more solid foundation.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next and bless your union with whomever it may be.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.