Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
There is a rise in popularity of “meet-up” websites where you can put your picture up, information about yourself, and add friends. They are not dating or match making websites. They promote interaction between the two genders which may not be exactly halal, nor very haram… Is it okay for brothers and sisters to put up flamboyant pictures of themselves and add the opposite gender, and leave comments on others’ profiles that may be very silly, loud, and un-hayaaful?
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Questioner,
I pray this message finds you in good health and iman.
I understand your concern. Unfortunately, some of these websites end up being no more than “Muslim dating.”
Enjoining the good and forbidding the wrong is part of every Muslim’s faith. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hand. If he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot do even that, then in his heart. That is the weakest degree of faith.” [Muslim]
Keep in mind, however, that there is an etiquette to giving nasiha, or good counsel. If you’re concerned about a friend’s participation on the website, then there are several tactful ways of approaching the issue.
For example, you could point out that visiting the website may not be haram per se; however, there are questionable matters that are best left alone. If your friend is female, you might want to mention to her how important privacy is.
Thus, posting pictures for everyone to see may not be advisable. As far as adding friends to one’s list, this depends on the intention this is done with. Sometimes, people add friends because it makes them look popular.
The best thing to do is to know your limitations. Obviously, careless banter should be avoided. If you find yourself falling into this situation, then it’s best to stop visiting the website. If your friends are falling into this, then all you can do is give sincere advice.
One thing to consider when giving advice: say what you have to say out of love and concern. Try not to be judgmental. And unless the situation is really out of control, then say what you have to say and move on.
Finally, it’s important to remember that the guidelines for interacting with the opposite sex apply even in cyberspace. It’s important to interact with modesty and good adab, and to limit conversations to what’s necessary.
Last, but not least, here some useful links from SunniPath:
Commanding the Good & Forbidding the Wrong at http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=3515&CATE=14
Also, there’s a related article you may be interested in:
Is it okay for brothers and sisters to chat online? at http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=1335&CATE=88
And Allah knows best.