Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
My problem is that my husband finds me immensely attractive physically and he is obsessive about making love to me. This is fine, but he is also obsessed with licking my anus (I say with embarrassment) for long periods of time. I am unable to say no because it disappoints him, yet I find it a sick and unreasonable habit and am getting worried about this particular desire of his. Please tell me if this is against the Sacred Law, because that is the only reason he will stop doing it.
According to an answer by Shaykh Amjad Rasheed, it is permissible for your husband to enjoy himself with that area as long as there is no penetration and as long as that area is not affected by filth, so that he does not become affected by filth. However, although it is permissible for him, you are not obliged to comply.
My advice to you is that you tell him that this does not make you comfortable and that you are concerned about this habit. Be sincere and kind, and Allah willing it will make a difference.
Ultimately, the decision is yours, so be wise and try not to hurt his feelings. If you decide to deny him this ‘pleasure,’ then do try to make it up in another way. Try to be an active partner and pleasure him.
Also, be patient and make du`a that Allah help you in this matter. He is the changer of hearts and nothing can be changed except with His command.
Also, at the same time, you should be thankful that you have a healthy and happy intimate life, because this is unfortunately not the rule in many families. Be thankful for his love for you and your happy marriage. In sha Allah, Allah will make it easy for you.
And Allah knows best.