Assalamualaikum,
This has been bothering me for quite a long time, and is affecting my health mentally. My father is religious and there is no question about doubting him. He loves me very much for I am his favorite daughter. I also love him as a father too. When I cry, he kisses me on my cheek and hugs me. I feel VERY weird when he does that. And shaytaan puts horrible wasaawis in my mind.. like what if my parents nikaah get affected because of that. Thinking of this makes me feel so broken and I don’t know what to do. I feel this is all just wasaawis and I should ignore it and I did, but then it comes again and I can’t stop thinking about it. I decided I will ask just in case. I did not want to ask at all, being afraid of the worst possible outcome. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked, but I am just in case. Also, there was an incident that occurred a few years ago.. I think I was like 10 or 11 years old. I think I said something to my dad or something happened. Then I wrote I nice sorry letter to him saying I am very sorry for saying or doing that.. etc. When he read it he came by me and I stared crying. He took me into the room and hugged me. There was no one else in the room, which made me feel uncomfortable.. and weird.. He didn’t do anything weird. All he did was say it’s ok and hugged me and kissed me on my cheek. But the whole time my heart was racing and I felt very uncomfortable. Now while writing this I feel like it’s just waswasa and I should leave it. But if I do, a few minutes later wasaawis about this not being a waswasa will come. Please guide me through this and please tell me what I should do to stop these wasaawis and have a more peaceful life.
Jazakallah
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
If the father’s action is with lust or there was lust before the action but it increased more after this action then your mother would become Haram on him, otherwise not. If the حرمت (Hurmat) is proven then it is واجب (Wajib) to verbally declare separation or to issue Talaq. Rather it becomes compulsory to treat her as a strange woman and she can’t come in front of him any longer i.e. to have پردہ (Pardah) between the two of them. Exercise caution in future and do not meet him in solitude at all, and avoid such circumstances at all that would cause such incident taking place. Keep reciting Surah Naas in abundance to repel the suspicions.
(وَ) حَرُمَ أَيْضًا بِالصِّهْرِيَّةِ ۔۔۔۔ أَصْلُ (مَمْسُوسَتِهِ بِشَهْوَةٍ) وَلَوْ لِشَعْرٍ عَلَى الرَّأْسِ بِحَائِلٍ لَا يَمْنَعُ الْحَرَارَةَ
(قَوْلُهُ: وَأَصْلُ مَمْسُوسَتِهِ إلَخْ) ؛ لِأَنَّ الْمَسَّ وَالنَّظَرَ سَبَبٌ دَاعٍ إلَى الْوَطْءِ فَيُقَامُ مَقَامَهُ فِي مَوْضِعِ الِاحْتِيَاطِ هِدَايَةٌ. وَاسْتَدَلَّ لِذَلِكَ فِي الْفَتْحِ بِالْأَحَادِيثِ وَالْآثَارِ عَنْ الصَّحَابَةِ وَالتَّابِعِينَ. (قَوْلُهُ: بِشَهْوَةٍ) أَيْ وَلَوْ مِنْ أَحَدِهِمَا كَمَا سَيَأْتِي (قَوْلُهُ: وَلَوْ لِشَعْرٍ عَلَى الرَّأْسِ) خَرَجَ بِهِ الْمُسْتَرْسِلُ، وَظَاهِرُ مَا فِي الْخَانِيَّةِ تَرْجِيحُ أَنَّ مَسَّ الشَّعْرِ غَيْرُ مُحَرِّمٍ وَجَزَمَ فِي الْمُحِيطِ بِخِلَافِهِ وَرَجَّحَهُ فِي الْبَحْرِ، وَفَصَّلَ فِي الْخُلَاصَةِ فَخَصَّ التَّحْرِيمَ بِمَا عَلَى الرَّأْسِ دُونَ الْمُسْتَرْسِلِ وَجَزَمَ بِهِ فِي الْجَوْهَرَةِ وَجَعَلَهُ فِي النَّهْرِ مَحْمَلَ الْقَوْلَيْنِ وَهُوَ ظَاهِرٌ فَلِذَا جَزَمَ بِهِ فِي الشَّارِحُ (قَوْلُهُ: بِحَائِلٍ لَا يَمْنَعُ الْحَرَارَةَ) أَيْ وَلَوْ بِحَائِلٍ إلَخْ، فَلَوْ كَانَ مَانِعًا لَا تَثْبُتُ الْحُرْمَةُ، كَذَا فِي أَكْثَرِ الْكُتُبِ، وَكَذَا لَوْ جَامَعَهَا بِخِرْقَةٍ عَلَى ذَكَرِهِ، فَمَا فِي الذَّخِيرَةِ مِنْ أَنَّ الْإِمَامَ ظَهِيرَ الدِّينِ أَنَّهُ يُفْتَى بِالْحُرْمَةِ فِي الْقُبْلَةِ عَلَى الْفَمِ وَالذَّقَنِ وَالْخَدِّ وَالرَّأْسِ، وَإِنْ كَانَ عَلَى الْمِقْنَعَةِ۔(رد المحتار:)
وَقَيَّدَ بِكَوْنِ اللَّمْسِ عَنْ شَهْوَةٍ؛ لِأَنَّهُ لَوْ كَانَ عَنْ غَيْرِ شَهْوَةٍ لَمْ يُوجِبْ الْحُرْمَةَ وَالْمُرَاهِقُ كَالْبَالِغِ وَوُجُودُ الشَّهْوَةِ مِنْ أَحَدِهِمَا كَافٍ، فَإِنْ ادَّعَتْهَا وَأَنْكَرَهَا فَهُوَ مُصَدَّقٌ إلَّا أَنْ يَقُومَ إلَيْهَا مُنْتَشِرًا فَيُعَانِقُهَا؛ لِأَنَّهُ دَلِيلُ الشَّهْوَةِ كَمَا فِي الْخَانِيَّةِ وَزَادَ فِي الْخُلَاصَةِ فِي عَدَمِ تَصْدِيقِهِ أَنْ يَأْخُذَ ثَدْيَهَا أَوْ يَرْكَبَ مَعَهَا، وَتُقْبَلُ الشَّهَادَةُ عَلَى الْإِقْرَارِ بِالْمَسِّ بِشَهْوَةٍ وَعَلَى الْإِقْرَارِ بِالتَّقْبِيلِ بِشَهْوَةٍ وَهَلْ تُقْبَلُ الشَّهَادَةُ عَلَى نَفْسِ اللَّمْسِ وَالتَّقْبِيلِ عَنْ شَهْوَةٍ؟ اخْتَلَفَ الْمَشَايِخُ فِيهِ قَالَ بَعْضُهُمْ لَا تُقْبَلُ وَاخْتَارَهُ ابْنُ الْفَضْلِ؛ لِأَنَّهَا أَمْرٌ بَاطِنٌ لَا يُوقَفُ عَلَيْهَا عَادَةً، وَقِيلَ تُقْبَلُ وَإِلَيْهِ مَالَ الْإِمَامُ عَلِيٌّ الْبَزْدَوِيُّ، وَكَذَا ذَكَرَ مُحَمَّدٌ فِي نِكَاحِ الْجَامِعِ؛ لِأَنَّ الشَّهْوَةَ مِمَّا يُوقَفُ عَلَيْهَا فِي الْجُمْلَةِ إمَّا بِتَحَرُّكِ الْعُضْوِ أَوْ بِآثَارٍ أُخَرَ مِمَّنْ لَا يَتَحَرَّكُ عُضْوُهُ كَذَا فِي الذَّخِيرَةِ.وَالْمُخْتَارُ الْقَبُولُ كَمَا فِي التَّجْنِيسِ(البحر الرائق :3/107 )
واللہ اعلم بالصواب