Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah
This question is about my 19 year old daughter who is now a third year college student. Here is some details from our background: Alhamdulillah, our family is considered as a very religious family and I am the head of the household. My wife and I have always tried to provide a religious environment for our children, such that they pray 5 times every day, wear headscarves and full clothes outside the home.
For a while we had no television until the laptops and cellphones came along. We still do not have actual TV in the house however we have provided them with cell phones and computers with the intention to help them with schoolwork etc. My wife has worn niqab since even before my children were born. My daughter has gone through phases of homeschooling, Islamic charter school and finally public schooling (past 6 years) here in the United States. I recently got confirmation that my daughter has had doubts about Islam and religion in general for at least 5 years. I previously thought that she was just going through a phase but found out that she has been continuously involved in adultery and homosexuality for at least about two years now. She is friends with muslim girls who are themselves involved in such heinous sins. My questions are as follows:
1- I feel that if I get her married to a muslim I will be doing a great injustice to her husband to be, since people consider us as a very religious family and have the relevant expectations from our children. Please advise how should I handle this situation? Should I find a non-muslim groom for her? Or should I inform the prospective groom about her history, but I also understand that decent practicing muslim in their right mind would every marry a girl with such background. I am afraid that if she carries on with these evils after her marriage, I will knowingly be making that man’s life a living hell.
2- She wants to move out of our hosue, which is out of question for me, since that is only going to motivate her further into these sins, what can I do to bring her back?
3- I have three other younger daughters in my house as well, I am afraid that her behavior may affect them as well. Please advise how should I protect my other daughters?
4- Please also let me know if there is any supplication, dua or zikr I can do in order to remove this calamity of the highest level from my house?
I definitely realize that this situation is due to my shortcomings and negligence in her upbringing, however it seems that I was under the false impression that my home environment was enough to sustain her Iman.
JazakAllah Khair
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah
It is incumbent upon you to perform your daughter’s Nikah as soon as possible. However thinking of performing her Nikah with a non-Muslim is an absolutely incorrect and adulterous thought. In addition, Nikah between a Muslim woman and non-Muslim man is impermissible and does not get officiated at all. Therefore remove this thought from your heart and mind. Monitor your daughter very closely and stop her from going out of the house. Counsel her and ensure that you do ta’leem at home. For motivation of good actions and refrainment from bad, you can read Fazail-e-Aa’mal and Muntakhab Ahadith. Whereas for the correction of aqaid and details of rulings read Bahishti Zaiwar.
As far as mentioning the past sins at the time of her Nikah is concerned, the Islamic Shari’ah command us to hide our sins instead of announcing them. Therefore do not mention any such details as it will not be considered as dishonesty. However ensure that your daughter repents sincerely and firmly. The responsibility of upbringing and religious education for her and your other daughters is solely (and mandatory) upon you, you should be concerned about it.
After every salah, read the following dua 3 times for your daughter:
وَاَصْلِحْ لِیْ فِیْ ذُرِّیَّتِیْ ج ط اِنِّیْ تُبْتُ اِلَیْکَ وَاِنِّیْ مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِیْنَ
While reading the above dua, think about your daughter while uttering the word “ذُرِّیَّتِیْ“.
In addition, read the following ayat and Surah Alam-Nashrah 7 times each, with reading Durood Shareef 7 times at the beginning and end, blow it on water and keep on feeding this water to your daughter.
قُلِ ادْعُوا اللہَ اَوِ ادْعُوا الرَّحْمٰنط اَ یًّامَّا تَدْعُوْا فَلَہٗ الْاَسْمآءُ الْحُسْنٰی ج وَلَا تَجْھَرْ بِصَلَاتِکَ وَلَا تُخَافِتْ بِھَا وَابْتَغِ بَیْنَ ذٰلِکَ سَبِیْلًا ۔ وَقُلِ الْحَمْدُ لِلہِ الَّذِیْ لَمْ یَتَّخِذْ وَلَدًا وَّلَمْ یَکُنْ لَّہٗ شَرِیْکٌ فِی الْمُلْکِ وَلَمْ یَکُنْ لَّہٗ وَلِّیٌ مِّنَ الذُّلِّ وَکَبِّرْہُ تَکْبِیْرًا۔
فقط واللہ اعلم