Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari
Question: What advice or techniques would you give for Youths who has grown up in the west and they have distanced themselves from their parents.
My younger brothers get annoyed and walk away when I try to talk to them.
Answer: Assalamu alaikum,
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you and your family well.
A number of factors may be contributing to your younger brothers’ aversion to listening. One of these may be the angst that a lot of young people struggle with when they feel that no one really gets them, or that people are always telling them what to do. Teenagers, especially, have it difficult because they are developing into adults, are inundated with social media and a popular culture that is urging them to rebel against parental authority, yet they desperately yearn for an anchor in the stormy oceans of life. Developmentally, this age group, while seeming physically mature, has a lot of emotional and mental maturing to do.
What you need to do is recognize the difficulties your brothers may be facing and try to connect with them on a level they understand.
Since I don’t know you or your family in order to make specific recommendations, all I can suggest is that you make an honest effort to figure out who or what inspires them and build on that.
Often, family outings that get everyone away from the TV and computer and out into the beauty that Allah has created are a great way to get people talking and connected.
May Allah Ta’ala bring your hearts together,
Zaynab Ansari