What Should One Do If They Have a Crush On Their Teacher In a Madrassah?

Question: What should one do if they have a crush on their teacher in a madrassah?

Dear questioner,

All praise is due to Allah and may His peace and blessings be upon his Prophet and his folk and all who follow him until the end of time.

Thank you for your important question and may Allah reward you for seeking more knowledge and guidance.

Guidance In All Matters 

Know that our beautiful religion has granted us guidance in all matters.

Allah Most High states, “Say, ‘God’s guidance is the only true guidance.’” [ Quran 2:120 ]

Therefore let us consider what the guidance here would entail.

Before getting married, one should take the means to get to know the person. Remember that marriage is not only about a crush; it is a sacred bond between two people to follow the commands of Allah and His messenger and to live happily.

Allah Most High says,

“Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live within tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect.” [Quran 30:21]

One needs to make sure they are marrying the person for the right reasons. It is essential to seek their parent’s approval and pray to istikhara, asking Allah for guidance and blessings. We do not marry just for desire or lust. A healthy relationship and a long-lasting is built upon noble intentions. To please Allah and His Messenger and to fulfill the sunna are from the highest aims. The exalted position of vicegerency (khilafa) of Adam started with him and his blessed wife, Hawa [Eve]. We are to follow in this, and the higher the intentions, the more blessed our relationships will be.

Here is a link that will clarify the methods and benefits of the prayer of istikhara;

One should know that ultimately marriage is a part of rizq or provision that was decreed before creation.

Allah says, “There is no moving creature on earth whose provision is not guaranteed by Allah. And He knows where it lives and where it is laid to rest. All is ˹written˺ in a perfect Record.” [Quran 11:6]

Rest assured that Allah will facilitate the one meant to marry you, so rely on Him and take the means that are good and lawful.

If your prayers confirm your heart and have taken your parent’s advice and their approval, you can seek to ask this brother about the possibility of marriage. But make sure you keep in mind the chance that they may have other plans or not ready yet for marriage. In that case, know that Allah has other plans for you. Trust in Him and move on.

As long as one follows the rules of gender interaction, one can communicate with a potential suitor to ensure compatibility. A woman can speak to a non-mahram as long as they do maintain respect and adab. Part of this adab would entail they do not stare at each other or talk seductively.

Speak respectfully and have good intentions, and remember Allah sees all that we are doing! A further read on this – https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/guidelines-for-interacting-with-the-opposite-sex/

One would be obligated to avoid being alone like in a room with the door closed; this is called khalwa or seclusion.

Finally, I recommend you also refer to this beautiful reader on marriage;

May Allah grant you success in what you pursue and give you good provision of a noble spouse

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

[Imam] Yama Niazi