Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
My problem is that after my marriage, my brother-in-law has had a very bad attitude towards me; he insults so much that I can’t even tell you. He prays against me and my husband by saying, “May you your husband have a fight etc.” I face it with sabr and peace. Can I pray against him? I’ve heard that the Prophet, peace be upon him, prohibited us from praying bad duas against people. I know it’s wrong to ask bad for someone, but what I can do I, I am weak against him?
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Praise be to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our beloved Messenger.
Whatever your brother-in-law is motivated by, it’s important to stay focused on two things:
- Your relationship with Allah
- Your marriage
Your brother-in-law wishes ill for you and your husband. His actions constitute an enormity. Your husband needs to decisively address his brother’s behavior and find out why he’s doing this. Your husband is obligated to protect you from vile treatment, no matter who it’s from. Insist that your brother-in-law not be in your company, or that you not be in his, until this problem can be resolved.
Don’t pray for bad things to happen to your brother-in-law. Rather, pray that Allah soften his heart and cause him to repent and mend his ways. For your part, when you’re around him, maintain your distance and your dignity.
Continue to turn to Allah in prayer and remembrance. Also, keep your relationship with your husband strong by emphasizing your love for him, in spite of the family problems. But be firm in your demand that your husband check his brother’s behavior.Here are some links from Sunni Path that may be of benefit. The first deals with the general etiquette of supplication, and the second gives duas you can say to ward off jealousy, which may be what your brother-in-law is suffering from.
Fiqh of supplication:
Slander: du’as to protect oneself from people who are engaged in such acts
And Allah knows best.
Umm Salah (Zaynab Ansari)