Q: I have asked a question previously about my divorce. My marriage was forced and I am not happy. Other than my happiness I am afraid I am not able to fulfil my husband rights being a wife. You have instructed me to go to local mosque or scholar which is not possible for me. I can not go alone and put my question in front of anyone. What Islam says if girl is not happy with a person, I don’t feel love or affection for my husband even I try a lot but then I become rude towards him. He had physical relations with a girl and other problems as well for which he said sorry. But still if I want to end this relation would that be ok? Do all marriages are like that where I don’t feel anything for him, even our sex life is also very bad. Please guide me what should I do. I can not tell my family, they say we need some solid reason to end this relation. Only way of ending this relation is if I ask my husband to leave me and if I do everyone is going to attack me for this. Please tell me what is the right thing to do? Should I tell my husband even I told him many times that we are not mentally compatible and not happy in this relation but he never pay attention.
A: The wife should not hasten in seeking divorce. Instead she should adopt all the halaal means and ways Shariat has allowed in trying to resolve the marital problem. If she is able to speak to her husband directly and thereby amicably resolve the problem, then she should do so. However, if this is not possible, then she should refer the matter to a third party e.g. the elders of the family or an Ulama body and ask them to assist her in her problem. If after exhausting all efforts and means to bring about a reconciliation one does not succeed in reconciling and the woman is unable to continue with the nikaah, then she may ask for a divorce.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)