Q: I have been married for four years now. My husband has a problem abusing substances, when he gets involved with this activity he becomes a total different person. He doesn’t give me money for food or for my and the kids essentials. He steals and sells anything in our home, sells the car
and if we are renting eventually we get put out and that leaves us either going to stay at his moms place or we have to separate, me staying at my parents and him at his. While busy with this substance, he commits zina as well then accuses me of committing zina and sends me disturbing texts. I know he is unfaithful because I get messages on his phone or people would tell me and he will deny until I presurise him to a point of admitting. He relapses every 4 or so months and for a period of 2 to 3 months, when he is not smoking this substance he is in jamaat, makes sallah 5 times a day and is a very good example for me and the kids. This is so confusing to me, its like I’ve married two different people, I do not know what to do, I feel I cannot be married to him any longer but I fear Allah so much so that I rather stay and live this confusing life. We havn’t been living together for more than a year now because of this problem. He has and every time we get close to finding a place and moving in together he relapses. My parents are against the marriage and don’t want me going back. I’ve spoken to him to seek help but every time he gets to his feet he assures himself and myself it won’t happen again and if I keep bringing the subject forth he gets mad at me. He has been to several institutions but all with fail. What I want to know is do I stand on halaal grounds for a fasagh? He doesn’t want me to but the pressure gets so much to me that I fall into deep depression.
A: If you feel that you cannot manage on account of his ways and behaviour then there is no harm for you to request a divorce from him.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)