Q: I would like to know if there is any guidelines, positives, negatives etc. in the shariah with regard to attachment to another person. In certain relationships attachment will be permissible eg.husband – wife, teacher – student mother – child etc but is there any limit? If a person is over attached to someone what advise would you give them to overcome this? How can one one gauge if their attachment to a person is negative/positive?
A: If one is involved in an impermissible or illicit relationship, then this is obviously haraam in Islam. However, the halaal relationships between parents and children, brothers and sisters, or the relationship with one’s friends and associates, though it is permissible for one to be closely attached, however the relationship should be governed by the Shari’ah. As long as one understands limits and the relationship is not causing one to be neglectful of his duties to Allah and upholding the Sunnah or towards the duties he owes towards the creation, it will be permissible. However if moderation is not adopted in the relationship e.g. due to his friendship he is foregoing his Salaah or he is neglecting his wife and children or on account of his over attachment to his wife and children, he neglects the rights of his parents or vies versa, then this type of imbalance and immoderation in the relationship is impermissible in Islam.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
قُل إِن كانَ ءاباؤُكُم وَأَبناؤُكُم وَإِخونُكُم وَأَزوجُكُم وَعَشيرَتُكُم وَأَمولٌ اقتَرَفتُموها وَتِجـرَةٌ تَخشَونَ كَسادَها وَمَسـكِنُ تَرضَونَها أَحَبَّ إِلَيكُم مِنَ اللَّـهِ وَرَسولِهِ وَجِهادٍ فى سَبيلِهِ فَتَرَبَّصوا حَتّى يَأتِىَ اللَّـهُ بِأَمرِهِ وَاللَّـهُ لا يَهدِى القَومَ الفـسِقينَ ﴿٢٤﴾
إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَاللَّـهُ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ ﴿التغابن: ١٥﴾
وعن أبي هريرة قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ” المرء على دين خليله فلينظر أحدكم من يخالل ” . رواه أحمد والترمذي وأبو داود والبيهقي في ” شعب الإيمان (مشكاة #5019)
وعن أبي هريرة قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ” إذا اتخذ الفيء دولا والأمانة مغنما والزكاة مغرما وتعلم لغير الدين وأطاع الرجل امرأته وعق أمه وأدنى صديقه وأقصى أباه وظهرت الأصوات في المساجد وساد القبيلة فاسقهم وكان زعيم القوم أرذلهم وأكرم الرجل مخافه شره وظهرت القينات والمعازف وشربت الخمور ولعن آخر هذه الأمة أولها فارتقبوا عند ذلك ريحا حمراء وزلزلة وخسفا ومسخا وقذفا وآيات تتابع كنظام قطع سلكه فتتابع ” . رواه الترمذي (مشكاة #5450)
Answered by:
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)