Q: I am a 26 years old unmarried Muslim man. In 2010 during the month of Ramadhaan, I had done serious foreplay activities with my past non Muslim girlfriend while I was fasting, and this happened many times which I don’t exactly remember (probably 3 times).
Afterwards I regretted and for Kaffarah, I gave money (equivalent to feeding 180 people for breaking 3 fasts as per my calculation) to a mosque imaam who said that he would give that to an old and needy lady for her daughter’s marriage.
Afterwards I got to know that first of all I have to fast for 60 days continuously. Even after this, I couldn’t stop myself from sinning.
During Ramadhaan of 2017, I made several online foreign Muslim girlfriends (on facebook) and did obscene and nude video calls with them while fasting which also might have spoiled my fasts. After this, I did not offer a second kaffarah.
Now I deeply regret all of it and I’m very depressed. My family is now searching for pious Muslim woman for my marriage but I feel that I’m not sufficiently good. As I am working in a multinational company, it is difficult to fast continuously for 60 days without a break. I have good health but don’t have the courage to do it (also because there are several lunch programs with colleagues and clients and it’s difficult to refuse everytime).
Please give me the solution for this. If the first kaffarah (which I have already done as written above) is not accepted and I don’t fast for 60 continuous days now, will I enter into kufr?
A: The first kaffaarah was valid. If you engaged in anything that broke your roza artificially, such as watching something wrong then make taubah and promise Allah Ta`ala that you will never do this again. Get married immediately and don’t wait to become good and then get married.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)