Q: I need clarity on the status of my marriage.
We have been married for 3 years. Over the 3 years it has been noted that my husband is mentally unstable. We have not yet confirmed what exactly is actually wrong with him but he has no control over his emotions and actions as many people can confirm this. He gets angry for the smallest thing and causes chaos. Once the anger subsides and he is calm only then he realises what actually took place. He is very moody and aggressive with everyone around him. He admits that he needs help and therapy as he wants to get better. Every year at a certain time he goes into a severe depression he quits his job, he is aggressive towards everyone and he just wants to sleep all day. He goes into a frame of mind where he acts like someone who is insane. One minute he is normal, next minute he becomes angry for no reason at all and starts an argument. In one instance due to something small that happend he went into a rage. This resulted in a heated argument where he said infront of people that he doesn’t love me and doesn’t want to be with me (I personally couldn’t understand how he could say this because the night prior to this incident we were quite fine and he still said he loved me before we fell asleep and we had still been intimate a few days prior). Days later after the incident took place I confronted him about what had happened and only then he realised the commotion he actually caused and realised what he had said. He then begged for my forgiveness and told me that he has no control over his anger. He explained that his anger controls his mind and he cannot control what comes out of his mouth. We have a baby of a few months old and he regrets disrupting her life with his uncontrollable anger. After what happend my parents are trying to keep us from seeing each other. This situation is extremely difficult for me as an innocent baby is caught up in the middle of this drama.
We love each other very much and he has agreed to go for therapy to get help for his uncontrollable anger. We would like to make things work especially for the sake of our baby. I would just like to know whether a talaaq took place in the above mentioned situation if my husband has confirmed that he only said those things in a state of anger beyond his control without realising the consequences of his actions.
Please advise what is the correct Quranic procedure of divorce as many people believe that a talaq takes place simply if the husband utters the word or implies divorce. Is it really so simple for a man to end a marriage in Islam?
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)