Mother not allowing the daughter to get married

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I have been searched to the best of my ability for some years now and always the ullamah of my country tell me to bear patience to a point now I think they pick what is in the sharia that favours customs and for aspects that do not favour customs they ask us to be patient. I have wanted to get married for the past for the past nine years but my mother has obstructed it from happening, I am 28 now and my dad has died when I was 12, it has reached a point in our living with her is unbearable we both dislike each other, though I decided to forgive her because I don’t want to have to face Allah on judgment day complaining about all the wrongs that have been done to me, but she hates me she cries in her sallah complaining to Allah about me, she says I make her heart black (I can only assume that’s hate for me). I feel she is oppressing me to achieve her motives. The problem runs really deep writing it all down would be extremely revealing, so my question now is “should I pack my things and leave her house, as she doesn’t love me and I darken her heart because I refused to obey her flimsy excuses of the kind of husband she wants for me and the life she wants for her self through me. I would be moving to my paternal uncles home.” I use to think of killing her or killing myself some time back then I realized it would jeopardize my chance of entering Jannah. Thank you for taking your time to read through, am grateful.


A: When there is a need then nikaah becomes compulsory, and matters that are compulsory are not subject to anybody’s approval even if it be your parents.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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