Q: My question is regarding my own personality which I think is like a dual personality or I am a selfish person. I love my wife and respect her as well but when I see her speaking to family members, I feel jealous. I mean even if she is with her brothers and sisters I get upset and I get stressed. I pray five times but still my mind is at unrest. Please I need your help.
A: To feel possessive over one’s wife and become upset with her when finding her speaking to strangers is a praiseworthy quality in Deen. In fact, in such a situation Shari’ah commands the husband to express disapproval and prevent his wife from such immodest and shameful behaviour. However, feeling possessive over one’s wife when seeing her speaking to her mahrams (parents, siblings, etc) and entertaining doubts regarding her is not a commendable or praise worthy quality in Deen. Just as your wife allows you to conduct your business or profession and speak to your family and friends and does not entertain doubts and suspicions regarding you, similarly it is not correct for you to entertain doubts and suspicions regarding her when she interacts with her family.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن الله يغار وإن المؤمن يغار وغيرة الله أن يأتي المؤمن ما حرم عليه (صحيح مسلم رقم 2761)
قال سليمان بن داود عليهما السلام لابنه يا بني لا تكثر الغيرة على أهلك فترمي بالشر من أجلك وإن كانت بريئة ولا تكثر الضحك فإن كثرة الضحك تستخف فؤاد الرجل الحكيم قال وعليك بخشية الله عز وجل فإنها غاية لكل شيء (شعب الإيمان رقم 805)
Answered by:
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)