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Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) explains the rights of a child over his father

Please tell me the authenticity and the source of the following:

A man brought his son to Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu anhu) and said:

“My son does not obey me, he is disobedient to me”. Hearing this Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) said: ‘Do you not fear Allah regarding disobedience to parents?’ Sayyiduna ‘Umar then mentioned the rights of a father over his children. The boy said: ‘O Commander of the Believers! Don’t the children too have rights over their father?’ Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu anhu) said: ‘Yes! the children too have rights on their father.’ ‘What are those rights?’ asked the boy. Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) replied:

‘First of all, he should search for a good mother for his son. [He should marry with a virtuous, religious woman, and must not marry any woman of questionable nature and doubtful character]. The second right is that when he begets a child, he should name it with a good name, and the third right of the child is that he should impart religious knowledge to him and teach the Quran.’

The boy said: ‘My father has not discharged any of these rights. Firstly, the woman who is my mother is a slave woman that he bought for 400 dirhams. Secondly, he has not named me with a good name. They have named me Ju’al nor has he taught me even one Verse of Quran.

Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) turned his attention to the boy’s father and said: ‘You are saying he is disobedient, whereas you have disobeyed first!’


Faqih Abul Layth As Samarqandi (rahimahullah) has cited this incident without a chain of narrators. I have not come across the complete chain.

(Tambihul Ghafilin, pg. 126)

Imam Bayhaqi (rahimahullah) has recorded two Hadiths of Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) wherein the following rights of a child over his father are explained:

  1. The father should give him a good name
  2. The father should hire a good wet-nurse to suckle to child
  3. The father should inculcate etiquette and good mannerisms
  4. The father should get his son married when he reaches [a suitable age]

(Shu’abul Iman, Hadith: 8299-8300)

And Allah Ta’ala knows best.

Answered by: Moulana Suhail Motala

Approved by: Moulana Muhammad Abasoomar

Checked by: Moulana Haroon Abasoomar

This answer was collected from HadithAnswers.com. The answers were either answered or checked by Moulana Haroon Abasoomar (rahimahullah) who was a Shaykhul Hadith in South Africa, or by his son, Moulana Muhammad Abasoomer (hafizahullah), who is a Hadith specialist. 

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