Assalaamu Alaikum Time and time again, I have tried my utmost best is stopping this addiction of pornography. I have tried on countless occasions. The most I would go is a few days. Before this terrible act, I feel pleasurable, but after it, I feel so horrible, and I feel like the worse person on the earth. I feel like crying because of how much I am addicted to this. I sincerely want to stop, to live a life that is pleasing to Allah and to uplift my Imaan, but no matter how hard I try, I cannot stop. I become so sad and grief overtakes me. I just wish to stop this horrible act. Please advise me
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
It is excellent to note that you have the concern on stopping this unfortunate habit. This is the first step towards reformation from such a sin. May Allah Ta’ala make it easy for you to free yourself from this habit.
Pornography and masturbation are evil and despicable sins which ruin the life of an individual. One is deprived of the sweetness of Imaan. His heart and soul becomes dull and develops an aversion towards Ibaadah and nearness to Allah Ta’ala.
It is imperative a Muslim constraints his Nafs (desires). Allah Ta’ala says “Verily the Nafs is inclined to evil” (12:54)
The example of the Nafs is like a small child; it always demands to get what it wants. The parents of the child know what is beneficial for the child and what is not. They do not accede to everything the child wants even if the child screams or cries. Rather, they take measures to discipline the child. They refine him into a respectable person having good qualities. Similarly, we need to refine our Nafs and not allow it everything it wants.
Brother in Islam, remember that even if no human eye is watching us, the ever watchful Allah knows the innermost regions of our heart. The true believer fears Allah’s judgement and knows that no act will go unaccounted for and that even his own eyes will bear witness against him on the Day of Judgement.
Allah Ta’ala says: “They may hide (their crimes) from men, but they cannot hide (them) from Allah, for He is with them (by His Knowledge), when they spend the night in such that He does not approve, And Allah ever encompasses what they do.”(4:108)
Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alahi Wa Sallam) warned us that there is a zinaa (adultery) of the eyes just as there is a zinaa of the private parts.
The negative consequences of pornography are too many to mention. In brief, it robs one of true human values and spirituality. In the case of a married person, while being physical with the spouse, the mental state is being controlled by the pornographic sights. The real life and essence of Imaan is lost. If a person is sincere in making Tawbah (repentance) from this evil act, he can be rehabilitated according to his level of sincerity. The biggest question to ask yourself is what if the angel of death comes to you in such a state….
Here under are few tips which may help you overcome your problem
- Stay away from all such avenues that spurs ones carnal desires, such as immoral friends, malls, beaches etc.
- Protect ones gaze from falling upon non-mahram (unlawful) women. The Prophet (Sallallhu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said: “I have not left a Fitnah (trial, calamity or cause for calamity) after me more than (the fitnah) with women for men” (Bukhari and Muslim).
- You should not use the internet unless there is a genuine need for it. One cannot place butter into a hot pan and expect it not to melt, likewise you cannot touch an electrical wire and expect not to get shocked. Similarly, if you access immoral websites, you are bound to fall into sins.
- Try to keep your laptop or computer in a place where everyone can see what you are doing. If at any time you feel like sinning and doing wrong, switch off your computer and immediately engage in something else.
- Do not to remain alone or idle. An idle mind is a devils workshop.
- Frequent the Masajid and the company of pious people. Identify a spiritual guide and benefit from his spirituality. Going out in Tableegh is also useful.
- In order to make sure you follow these rules, any time if you happen to do Haraam, give some charity to the local masjid. Make sure this amount is realistic and reasonable.
- If you are unmarried, try to get married as soon as you can. Nabi (Sallallahu `alayhi wasallam) advised: “O group of youth whoever has the ability to marry then he should marry for verily this is a means of lowering ones gazes and protecting ones chastity. Whoever cannot do so then he should take to fasting for verily this is a shield for him.”(Bukhari)
- Before you sleep every night, think about death and how you will be buried in the grave with no one to assist you and help you. Imagine Ghusl (pre-burial bathing)being done to you, you will then be enshrouded with the Kafn, people will be crying, the Janaza Salaah will be performed and then your body will be carried to the graveyard and then you will be buried in the depths of the ground. Who will be there to assist you on that day? Every day, take out some time before you go to sleep and think about death. Insha’Allah, this will remove the ghafla (heedlessness) from your Nafs.
Continuously make Dua to Allah to help you abstain from such sins. Make as much as Taubah (repentance) as possible. If your Taubah is sincere, Allah Ta’ will grant you the Taufeeq (ability) to refrain from sins. Always, keep trying. Never give way to the subtle whisperings of Shaytaan. At first, refraining from sins might be extremely difficult, but after constant struggle and punishing of the Nafs, the Nafs will finally become tamed and then you will feel pleasure in refraining from sins. Allah Ta’ala will indeed help the person who strives to become closer to Him.
Abu Huraira( Radhiallahu Anhu) reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said: I am just as My slave believes me to be and I am with him as he remembers Me. (The Holy Prophet) further said: By Allah, Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His servant than what one of you would do on finding his lost camel in the waterless desert. When he draws near Me by the span of his hand. I draw near him by the length of a cubit and when he draws near Me by the length of a cubit. I draw near him by the length of a fathom and when he draws near Me walking I draw close to him hurriedly.(Muslim)
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Arshad Ali
Darul Iftaa, Jaamia Madinatul Uloom (Trinidad)
 صحيح البخاري (8/ 54)
«إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَتَبَ عَلَى ابْنِ آدَمَ حَظَّهُ مِنَ الزِّنَا، أَدْرَكَ ذَلِكَ لاَ مَحَالَةَ، فَزِنَا العَيْنِ النَّظَرُ، وَزِنَا اللِّسَانِ المَنْطِقُ، وَالنَّفْسُ تَمَنَّى وَتَشْتَهِي، وَالفَرْجُ يُصَدِّقُ ذَلِكَ كُلَّهُ وَيُكَذِّبُهُ»
This answer was collected from Fatwa-tt.com, which is operated by the Darul Iftaa of Jaamia Madinatul Uloom (Trinidad and Tobago) under the advice and guidance of Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Daamat Barakaatuhum) of South Africa.