Salams I was talking to a boy and we were close to getting married then he stopped talking to me and has said he’s not interested anymore and blocked me is there something I can do to get him back? Please can mufti help me.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
We take note of the contents of your email and your feeling of depression.
At the outset, one should understand that it is not permissible to unnecessarily talk/chat to a Non-Mahram. It is strictly forbidden to date and enter into an illicit relationship.
The connection between a male and female causes desires to ravage the heart until they engage further and further in impermissible actions and become trapped by their desires.
Allah Taa’la says in the Quraan:
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا
Translation: “And do not even go close to adultery. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and it is an evil way.”
(Surah Al-Israa, Aayah 32)
See the following Hadeeth:
أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ “ لاَ يَزْنِي الزَّانِي حِينَ يَزْنِي وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ وَلاَ يَسْرِقُ حِينَ يَسْرِقُ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ وَلاَ يَشْرَبُ الْخَمْرَ حِينَ يَشْرَبُهَا وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ وَالتَّوْبَةُ مَعْرُوضَةٌ بَعْدُ
Translation: A fornicator who fornicates is not a believer as long as he commits fornication, and no one who steals is a believer as long as he commits theft, and no one who drinks wine is a believer as long as he drinks it, and repentance may be accepted after that.
(Saheeh Al-Muslim, Kitaab Al-Imaan)
Sister, you state that you were close to getting married. We are living in this world of means. When we want something, we adopt means. If you wanted to marry him, you should have adopted the appropriate means.
Marriage is one of the most important aspects of one’s life. The purpose of marriage is peace and happiness. It appears you may not have achieved the desired peace and happiness through this boy. It is apparent that the boy does not want to be in a relationship with you. There is no point in pursuing the relationship with him. If he was really in love with you, he would not leave you at the time of marriage. If he is not interested in you before marriage, what happiness would you achieve after marriage?
Sister, you are young, and you need to make a choice for your future. Do not think for a moment that you cannot get married to anyone else.
While you may feel betrayed and upset at the attitude and conduct of the boy, there may be good hidden in this. Allah Ta’ala has already preordained the events and happenings in a person’s life.
We advise you to repent to Allah Ta’ala for any connection that you may have had with the boy in reference. Moreover, have a sincere intention to protect yourself in the future and to avoid speaking to the opposite gender without a genuine need. Our advice to you is that you control your emotions and refrain from thinking about the boy in reference. The more you keep your mind occupied in thinking about him it will create restlessness within your heart.
You should put your complete trust in Allah and seek strength from him. Du’aa is the weapon of a believer.
May Allah Ta’ala bless you with the most compatible partner who is a means of happiness for you in this world and the hereafter. Aameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Muhammad I.V Patel
Checked and Approved by
Mufti Nabeel Valli
Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah